International Day Against Homophobia: How the fight for love should never be a fight

Today, May 17th, is the International Day Against Homophobia and I support my LGBTQ brothers and sisters in the fight against homophobia.

Like I have said in this website, love in its purest form is not that complicated. So why should we make it complicated by deciding who a person can love or not love?

I had to explain my views to countless people with homophobic opinions in my lifetime. Homophobia seems to be derived from traditional, uninformed, unchallenged and ignorant ways of thinking that have been passed down from generation to generation.

I have nothing against traditional religious values as I was raised in a devout Roman Catholic family. However, I would encourage others to research objectively rather than subjectively multiple versions of scriptures. If God loved his creation, why would He not allow love to happen?

The crucial finding is that homophobia is largely based on a lack of education. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that homophobia is derived from masked homosexuality. By studying sociology, I have learned that sexuality is not linear but on a continuum, hence why bisexuality comes into play. As well, gender is not determined by sexual features but rather what gender roles society has created for us, hence why our transgender and transsexual friends exist.

I used to be homophobic. I was influenced by some members of my family who were the same. I would fear becoming friends with a lesbian if they were to hit on me and I would be scared to ask questions about homosexuality in case of embarrassment or shame. The majority of teenagers before they turn 18 will question their sexuality because at a young age, you are still trying to figure yourself and the world out.

I always have been heterosexual and am now comfortable with my sexuality that I can ask questions about heterosexuality and homosexuality without any issue. Being out of high school also helps as you are more exposed to other views about life.

I have asked my LGBTQ friends about their views of gender roles, relationship problems, coming out and the like. The other day, actually, I asked one of my gay best friends a question that boggled my mind.

Some people in my life have made claims that in every relationship, whether heterosexual or homosexual, there is a masculine figure and a feminine figure. I asked my friend if this was true.

He claimed that it was not and that idea promotes heteronormativity (the idea that a relationship can only exist between two genders: male and female. Note that I did not say sex as gender is a role while sex is biological).

Being an educated and informed citizen, therefore, is important to me. However, I find that this approach should be implemented in schools, especially secular schools.

When my brother was in grade eight, he was a student of a Catholic elementary school. He was learning about sexual education and innocently asked his teacher how gay people have sex. An honest question that could have been answered maturely and intelligently.

If I were that teacher, I would have simply given a biological answer and said that for gay men, instead of inserting a penis into the vagina, the penis is inserted into the anus and if a student were to ask how lesbians have sex, I know that I could not give a definite answer as pop culture does not give any definite definitions but I would at least attempt or be honest and say that I have no knowledge of that matter.

HOWEVER, his teacher told my brother that she could not tell him the answer and my brother had to find out about it by asking my father.

The Catholic school board may claim that homosexuality should not be taught in schools as it is considered a sin in the bible. On the contrary, these students will have careers in a society that is not necessarily predominantly Catholic and I agree that in secular schools, they should be taught about their religion but they should be educated about the world around them as well.

What is so wrong about letting same-sex couples be together and marry and raise a child? Love does not discriminate so why should people?

Although I tell personal love stories from the point of view of a heterosexual female, my advice is relatable and not gender-specific. After all, people are complicated and so is any type of relationship.

” Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”-1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

People should act the same way.

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By The Modern Day Fairy Godmother Posted in self-love

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