Roger that: A prank gone wrong

This past weekend has been a crazy one. Before I start explaining why a prank went wrong, let me provide some background history.

I work at a McDonald’s part time in order to help pay for my master’s degree. I work with a lot of high school students; therefore, there aren’t many coworkers who are my age. 

One of the few coworkers that was my age is named Roger. Roger and I became friends while I was still in a relationship with Doug. Roger and Doug went to the same university but only met each other a couple of times through friends. 

Roger lives not that far away from me and would join me on my walks to work. On one of these walks, I smelled something strong on him. Our conversation went as follows:

MDFG: Are you wearing cologne?

R: No, just after shave.

MDFG: (half-jokingly) You do know I have a boyfriend, right?

R: Oh I know. That’s bro code. I wouldn’t go after you, especially if I knew the guy. Anyways, I’m not looking for a relationship.

So it all seemed well as I just thought of Roger as a friend from work. 

The week prior to my breakup with Doug, Roger and I crossed paths at a local A & W and we joined each other for lunch. I thought nothing of it but he confessed one thing: he goes after girls on the rebound since they are easy hookups. At the time, I just shrugged it off as Roger being a typical horny guy. 

Everything changed the day of the breakup.

Doug was a safety net for me. It was now made clear that Roger was trying to pursue me during my relationship with Doug and now that Doug broke up with me, he thought that he had his chance.

I told Roger about the breakup the day that it happened and he seemed to be supportive. The day after, he decided that it was a good idea to ask me to go to Starbucks with him. I declined as I knew that he may have been trying to get me on the rebound. 

A few weeks later, he asked me to watch some movies at his place and fortunately, I didn’t have to make up an excuse as I was working late. 

About a week later, Roger was in the area and we decided to go for a drive. This was the perfect opportunity to establish the fact that the only thing we could ever be was friends. I asked him if he was interested in me and he denied it. I told him that his recent requests seemed like he wanted to be more than friends and he apologized as he said that it wasn’t his intention. I was very blunt and told him that I am not looking for a relationship and even if I was, I only consider him a friend. 

Clear enough for him? Not quite. 

After a while, he started asking me to hang out. In light of our recent conversation, I agreed when I finally had the time as what could be more fun than two friends hanging out?

While we were sipping our lattes and learning a card game that he mastered, we both spoke of the fact that at work, opposite-sex friends are usually seen as being a couple. He added that he had been asked several times at work if we were dating. I found this odd because he used to be interested in one of my friends from work and “girl code” didn’t seem to be in play. We looked at each other and thought we should play a prank by pretending to date. We thought this would be more of a lesson that guys and girls can be just friends. I stated that this was only a prank and that we are just friends. He seemed to understand.

We went into work and we got a lot of buzz as we were fighting over who should pay, showering each other with compliments and pet names as well as wearing his sweater. Yesterday, we were wondering how long this prank should go on for and Roger stated that if by Halloween the buzz didn’t grow, we would tell everyone that it was a prank. While on the phone with him, we were talking about exes in order to get to know each other more. Upon further discussion he confessed something to me: he liked me.

I was taken aback and things were awkward, to say the least. I hate how giving him the benefit of the doubt allowed for him to lie to me. I hate being lied to. I was lied to by own boyfriend and now again by someone I considered to be a friend. I do not take anything at face value anymore. 

Obviously, we decided to stop the prank. 

He asked me if I were to ever see future potential. I asked him if he wanted an honest answer. He told me that he didn’t but it is something that I should think about. I told him that there is nothing to think about. I wasn’t going to give him false hope. 

As mentioned in previous blogs, one would think that I would rebound with Roger. Anything other than friendship with Roger never clicked with me. I am just trying to be independent and contrary to Roger’s philosophy, not an easy hookup. 

Roger and I will have to work together. He apologized for lying to me and hurting me. I accepted his apology as a sign of wanting to move on but I told him that I am not okay with what he did. The most we could ever be now is acquaintances within the workplace. I will have no choice but to be civil as I need to pay my bills but that is a good thing.  Why let someone anger me for the rest of my life?

Moral of the story? Listen to your gut. Hopefully, this will be the last time that I will learn this lesson. 

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

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