What happens when nothing happens?

So Mickey and I went out for coffee last Friday. I have had some amazing first dates and some horrible ones too but I have never used this word before: mediocre.

He was a nice guy and we had a great conversation but something just didn’t click like it did on Halloween night. 

I remember walking to the cafe as he was waiting for me and I had barely recognized him. Instead of being as fancy as he was when I first met him, he sported some glasses, a winter coat and casual clothing. He didn’t look bad at all but the same “wow” factor didn’t appear. I guess that I have a soft spot for cop costumes.

Even though I was dressed to the nines and he paid for our drinks, it seemed like we were just two friends meeting up. No butterflies, no sparks. I felt guilty as nothing was wrong about him. In fact, the intellectual chemistry that I always looked for was present!

That night, I added him on Facebook but something strange happened: the butterflies were present when I was looking at his pictures. I am not so shallow to think that this first date was influenced by how he dressed. There was more at play.

I have not gotten to know Mickey for as long as I have other suitors with whom I have went on first dates in the past. Therefore, how can I make a judgement call as to if he is right for me?

As well, I was under a lot of stress prior to meeting him. I had every one of my room-mates tell me that how I was apparently approaching dating  was completely stupid. How are they to know what is best for me? Shouldn’t I know? 

In addition, first dates are always going to be weird and it’s just a process of getting to know someone. If I find that after the second date that there is no potential, I know that I have something that is still a great asset to my life: a friend. 

What are your thoughts? 

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

 

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2 comments on “What happens when nothing happens?

  1. I don’t think anyone can necessarily tell you what is the right or wrong way how to date. It should really be up to you. However, I think they can give advice on improving odds of dating sucess in some areas. For instance, my friend sits home every single night and watches TV. He never leaves the house except for work. Then if he complains about not meeting enough girls I tell him he should put himself in scenarios where at least there is a chance. I wouldn’t tell him who to like or how to go about his dates once he meets a girl. That’s just what I think tho.

    • I agree with you. It was more so the fact that I was meeting him somewhere that was a bit more convenient for him than it was for me. People criticized about how I was going out of my way to see this person and how “the guy” should be going out of his way. There was a double standard that I wasn’t going to put up with. It was an area that I was comfortable with and I knew that at that time, he just got back from work and wouldn’t be able to come to my doorstep. The date was fine but I definitely didn’t need the extra stress beforehand. I think what is important is that you need to allow people to make their own mistakes. Otherwise, how will they ever learn?

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