The past couple of days, my area has been hit with several power outages that have lasted for a minimum of three hours each. Meanwhile, I was suffering from a bad cold that took its toll on me. What do these events have in common? It served as the climax for my emotional thoughts about my past relationship.
Since about a couple of weeks ago, I started to think about Doug again. I was changing my sheets and saw that the only clean ones available were the ones that he and I cuddled in, watching Game of Thrones, on our last date. Thinking that I was brave enough to not let that memory haunt me, I used them. I was wrong.
It was the beginning of a memory flood that would last eighteen days. I got caught up in the good memories and I just thought, CRAP, what happened? I knew what happened was that he didn’t know what he wanted but it is still shocking how everything went from dreamy to disastrous.
I broke down crying last night, just wanting to desperately move on. I just wanted to be okay.
So, I reached out to my friends and it was the best decision that I could have ever made and boy, did I get an ass-whooping!
My friend Michelle claimed that I am still the strong woman that I was back in high school. She advised that I needed to let things naturally happen, which I hadn’t been doing. There were lingering doubts at the start of my relationships with Vince, Drew and Doug. Now, I know that my next relationship has to be one that I feel good about from the start. I’m a hopeless romantic but how can I let romance happen if I am actively trying to pick up guys? I need to be the supervisor of my own lovelife, not the busboy!
However, my friend Eve said something that really spoke to me:
“You have dealt with a lot of hard situations in your life and ended up just fine”.
Truer words have never been spoken. I have dealt with my parents’ nasty divorce and my grandmother dying from lung cancer. Therefore, I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS BREAKUP!
Just as this epiphany happened, the power came back on.
It’s not the end. It’s only the beginning.
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother