Post Holiday Reflections

Post Holiday Reflections

Hey everyone,

I hope that your holidays went well and you are all looking forward to 2014. I had an amazing Christmas and would argue that it was even better single than it was last year.

Considering that my last Christmas was my first one where I wasn’t single, it may seem strange for me to say this. Nevertheless, I will explain why this Christmas was so much better.

I found that I got back to what I love most about Christmas: family traditions. I didn’t feel the time nor financial constraints that I felt last year and that weight off my shoulders was a relief. I was around people who are always there for me and it made me so happy to know that this love will always surround me.

Additionally, I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin and I think that it took me being single to get here. For the first time in my life, a man is a nice thing to have and not a need. There are just so many things that I want to do with my life such as travel and try new things that if a man is right for me, he needs to join me in my adventure and not stop me from it.

I hope that this story can be inspirational to singles out there. Remember you are wonderful being you and that shouldn’t change if you are single or not.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

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Things to never say to someone who has returned to dating

Things to never say to someone who has returned to dating

1. They look just like your ex.
2. Do you seriously need someone in your life?
3. I guess this is the new flavour of the month.
4. There goes another one to join the parade in between your legs.
5. I don’t think that they are right for you. (Insert not so perfect significant other that you think everyone should be like) and I do this and you guys don’t.
6. So when’s the wedding?
7. Maybe if you were skinnier/muscular/prettier/smarter etc., you would have more luck.
8. I liked your ex better.
9. Why are you bothering if they don’t have money?
10. If they don’t go for you, can I have them?

The Guy Rules

The Guy Rules

Hey everyone,

As a Christmas gift, my friend Jesse gave me a framed picture of the dating rules for guys that we created. This could really be used for either gender.

1. A man is NOT the whole dessert; he is the cherry on top.
2. It’s not me, it’s HIM; there’s NEVER a reason to wonder why YOU weren’t good enough.
3. NO phone numbers until the END of a party (no texts until the next day).
4. He gives up the number FIRST.
5. Don’t think you’ll meet “the one” at a club.
6. You only get one free-be rant per guy when things go bad.
7. There must be a month between dating guys.
8. Ice cream and a sad movie is always good after a bad night.
9. I need to be the supervisor of my own life, NOT the busboy working for them.
10. Get to know a man before dating them.
11. Don’t be an “Agenda” girl; just naturally be me.
12. Don’t treat every guy like an interview.
13. Don’t find love; let love find you.

This list might not work for everyone but it works for me. Got an item to add? Tell me in the comments!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Is it okay for parents to argue in front of their children?

Is it okay for parents to argue in front of their children?

Hey everyone,

So I know that this is a love advice blog but love can bring marriage and children and I thought that this was an important subject to discuss.

Is it okay for parents to argue in front of their children? My stance is one that is controversial and most likely, with which people will disagree. My answer?

YES.

Many may wonder how I can say that. Didn’t my parents’ unspeakable, degrading disputes prior to their divorce become detrimental to my mental health? It did. Am I a parent? No but in my opinion, you do not need to be one to understand why I say what I do.

Parents are going to argue. It can be as little as misplacing a sock and as big as never telling the truth. Parents need to teach their children important morals and values and they are not learned by stating rules but also by practicing what we are preaching.

Whenever parents argue, they need to argue like human beings, not barbarians. They need to explain their issues to their spouse or partner in a way that is calm, constructive and respectful. Love still needs to be  present and if both parents are not together, respect needs to be present. Parents need to show their kids that it is okay to disagree and feel hurt about something but the solution lies in working together, not against one another. It is good to ARGUE and not to FIGHT.

In this way, parents are teaching children how to communicate. They show their children that it is okay to question someone or voice concerns or hurt feelings. Children will  learn that everyone deserves respect and that when that respect is not given by another person, one should speak up but not address the problem in a way that does not lead to a solution as quickly as possible.

When children are surrounded by parents who show utter lack of respect for one another and make them question where the love in marriage lies, these children are more likely to FIGHT rather than ARGUE. They cannot voice their feelings in a healthy manner as that manner is not an example provided at home.

Therefore, it is important not to shelter children from arguments but also not have arguments that take away from the respect that each parent should give and receive from one another.

I know myself. I have a temper and my words are not necessarily the best in arguments but I find that I am a product of my past environment and I make efforts to improve every day. After all, I do not want my future children to go through the same experience that I went through.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother