So I know that this is a love advice blog but love can bring marriage and children and I thought that this was an important subject to discuss.
Is it okay for parents to argue in front of their children? My stance is one that is controversial and most likely, with which people will disagree. My answer?
Many may wonder how I can say that. Didn’t my parents’ unspeakable, degrading disputes prior to their divorce become detrimental to my mental health? It did. Am I a parent? No but in my opinion, you do not need to be one to understand why I say what I do.
Parents are going to argue. It can be as little as misplacing a sock and as big as never telling the truth. Parents need to teach their children important morals and values and they are not learned by stating rules but also by practicing what we are preaching.
Whenever parents argue, they need to argue like human beings, not barbarians. They need to explain their issues to their spouse or partner in a way that is calm, constructive and respectful. Love still needs to be present and if both parents are not together, respect needs to be present. Parents need to show their kids that it is okay to disagree and feel hurt about something but the solution lies in working together, not against one another. It is good to ARGUE and not to FIGHT.
In this way, parents are teaching children how to communicate. They show their children that it is okay to question someone or voice concerns or hurt feelings. Children will learn that everyone deserves respect and that when that respect is not given by another person, one should speak up but not address the problem in a way that does not lead to a solution as quickly as possible.
When children are surrounded by parents who show utter lack of respect for one another and make them question where the love in marriage lies, these children are more likely to FIGHT rather than ARGUE. They cannot voice their feelings in a healthy manner as that manner is not an example provided at home.
Therefore, it is important not to shelter children from arguments but also not have arguments that take away from the respect that each parent should give and receive from one another.
I know myself. I have a temper and my words are not necessarily the best in arguments but I find that I am a product of my past environment and I make efforts to improve every day. After all, I do not want my future children to go through the same experience that I went through.
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother