Dating is not a sport. It may have rules but why do many people seem to treat it like a game?
At my work, I always hear how many “kills” (people with whom someone has had sex) someone has, how people are leading someone on not knowing if they can commit or my personal favourite, NOT TRYING!
Around a month ago, I met one of Lorenzo’s friends named Pete. Pete is a nice guy and when we were all hanging out, I felt butterflies, something I had not felt since high school. We started talking on social media but he seemed kind of cold. Lorenzo warned me that Pete was an introvert but it seemed like general disinterest. I mentioned it to Pete and he said that he just feels more comfortable talking in person, so we (mostly me) set up a date to hang out.
Unfortunately due to the lovely influenza that winter brings, I had to ask for a raincheck. He was sweet and we arranged something else. Another raincheck was taken as something came up within his family. This would seem more understandable than annoying but hear me out.
Over the holidays, I invited a bunch of friends to grab drinks and decided to invite Pete as well. It was merely an hour before the meeting when I let everyone know that I was on my way. I received a response back from Pete saying that he couldn’t make it because he got called into work and needed the money to save up for a new motorcycle.
That’s what got me thinking: is this worth the effort?
I started to reflect upon my conversations with him. I realized that he never really made an effort to get to know me as I always messaged him first and the conversations revolved around him and his interests. A relationship needs reciprocity and that was not present.
It seems that his interest was not present either because the last day I contacted him was New Year’s Day and he has not made any effort to contact me since then. I truly have nothing against him as a person but he is not what I need in a partner.
This was the start of finally being able to release myself from anything that does not make me happy. I usually would let things linger on and be stuck in a relationship of which I couldn’t get out because of developed feelings and dependency. Not anymore! There is a zero bullsh*t tolerance for me. If someone is not there for the right reasons, they will be just someone but not “the one”.
I don’t think that I need to be picky but I need to be reasonable. I am an extrovert and adventurous and need someone who embodies that as well. I need a partner in life and if we do not want the same things, there is no point.
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother