You hear their name somewhere. You hear an old song that both of you used to know. A commercial brings back a funny memory. So, is it okay to think about your ex?
My answer is yes, so long as it doesn’t control your life to the point where it is maladaptive to becoming better.
They were once a part of your life and depending on the length of your relationship, it could have been a big part. Therefore, you are going to have memories, both good and bad. If you discovered something new about them recently, you may wonder how everything changed and that is completely normal. However, know that you have changed as well, most likely for the better.
Your exes are steps on a staircase that will lead you to your soulmate. Some staircases will be longer than others but when you find that person, the good thing is that you are not climbing anymore (and maybe lost a few pounds from the climbing).
I will definitely tell my future children about my exes one day. After all, they will need to understand that a journey is involved before you find the one but I probably will leave out any stories of steamy makeout sessions.
Will I ever talk to my exes again? There is only one ex with whom I am now civil and that is Vince, my high school boyfriend. As for the others, they were associated with such a rough part of my life that saying more than a mere “hello” will be moving backwards. It would be like an addict talking to their drug dealer: it is best to just stay away.
Nevertheless, memories will always be there and that is all they will ever remain. Nothing wrong with that.
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother