I am back from vacation in Montreal. It was absolutely beautiful there and I seriously wonder why I came back. Unfortunately, as the result of deciding to go snowtubing in the freezing rain, I am dealing with a nasty cold which had delayed my post. Nevertheless, I am here now to tell you all of my crazy misadventures in Montreal.
Montreal can be both the haven and hell for single girls. I got teased by Lorenzo’s girlfriend quite often of how I was attracting all the guys whenever we went anywhere. I spoke French, my dance moves were on point and I am an attractive, confident woman: that’s a recipe for girlfriend material.
I made guy friends easily not only because of my charisma but I think that having a younger brother also helped me become relateable to guys. I had a blast because my social network just expanded and the people I had met were all so lively and interesting in their own way.
However, many men got “too friendly” on my trip. Lorenzo, his girlfriend and I all went clubbing the first night but left after only being there for an hour and a half. After being grabbed by the shoulders twice and ass felt up/grabbed four times, it was time to go. Unfortunately, I had to use self-defence for the first time in my life such as pushing, hitting and screaming. It was a scary experience but I was glad that I had that kind of knowledge. Many of my friends made the excuse that this could happen at any club but I have never had such an experience at a Toronto club. Don’t get a bad impression of Montreal men now: the assassins were all from Toronto! The only good part of the night was dancing with my guy friends and sneaking a dance with this one cutie that I hope to see again very soon.
As I started to become more and more of a magnet to guys and more and more of an annoyance to my friends, it was starting to get to my ego. I’m not proud of that fact but it was hard not to let many guys wanting your attention get to your head. I met guys who were starting out in university to guys were starting out their nursing careers. Like I said before, everyone I met interested me with their own personal story.
Then came the last day. I went snowtubing and unfortunately since my friends went skiing and snowboarding, I was left alone and had the opportunity to make new friends who of course, happen to be male: Tyler and Harry. After some simple introductions, a few rounds of Never Have I Ever and sexual innuendoes tossed around, I became one of the guys. However, it was clear that Harry had a thing for me. He said that he had crazy dance moves and I told him that he probably wasn’t as good as I was. We agreed, before he left early to be with his friends, that we would have a dance battle at the club that night. Originally, I was reluctant to go to a club again with the bad experience I had but Lorenzo’s girlfriend convinced me to go because it was the last night.
While grabbing a bite to eat with Tyler, I told him that I wasn’t looking for a relationship right now in the case that he may have thought otherwise. He was completely understanding and told me that it was not his intention while getting to know me. He reminded so much of my best friend Leandro that we instantly clicked as friends. Tyler warned me that Harry was a big flirt and I understood that. I warned Harry beforehand that I would be dancing with other guys and his reply was not to give him any “exclusive crap” because he would be dancing with other girls.
We arrived at the nightclub. Tyler came late so I was with Lorenzo and his girlfriend. We three were dancing until I saw Harry. He challenged me on the dancefloor but I still argue that I was the better dancer. Harry went his own way and I went mine shortly after.
I got onto the bottom floor of the club and this one guy named Andy came up and danced with me. He had good dance moves but was a little all over the place. He said he was from Brooklyn and at the moment, all I could think of was that it was a cue for a one night stand and I’m not that kind of girl.
We were dancing and he was complimenting my dance moves. Then, he proceeded to say “you’re cute” in a way that reminded me of when Rudolph said it in the classic Christmas movie. Needless to say, this guy was not my type.
As I was dancing with Andy, Harry came back and started dancing in front of me. Andy turned me towards him and tried to make out with me but I stepped back. Seeing how uncomfortable I was, Harry pulled me back and stepped in. It looked like the two guys were close to fighting, something I didn’t want, but Andy was pulled away by his friends. Harry came up to me and we went to the bar where he bought me a shot. Soon after, we were heating up the dancefloor. I got comments like my ass was his Kryptonite, to slow down before his mind explodes and the most awkward one that made me cringe:
“I take back what I said. I’m yours”.
So much for not being exclusive. He may have thought that he was mine but I was definitely not his. It was interesting how the double standard came into effect. Whenever a guy tried dancing with me, Harry would shoo them away. He did not like having any competition and I loved how I was driving him crazy. I thought it was the best revenge that I could have possibly given for him being such a flirt.
Harry had to leave for a bit to get some money from the ATM. During that time, Tyler arrived. We were dancing for a bit but one of Harry’s friends interrupted and asked me where Harry was. I told him I didn’t know.
The guy needed to calm down. After all, I wasn’t Harry’s girlfriend.
Harry came up after some time and all three of us made a sandwich and started dancing with one another. It was a great way to end the trip. We all got back to our hotel, I kissed Harry on the cheek and crashed on the bed.
During the days after leaving Montreal, Harry made a point of talking to me everyday and tried to meet up. He admitted that he liked me and wanted to get to know me better. However, Harry was full of sketchingitis.
I told him the same thing I told Tyler and he told me that he was cool with that. He said that if I ever needed a dancing/drinking buddy to let him know. It seemed that we were on the same page.
On the contrary, Harry translated me not wanting a relationship into wanting friends with benefits, something I didn’t want even more! Every kind word was followed by a sexual innuendo as he explained that he was the perfect balance between an extreme gentleman and an extreme pervert. I thought that being four years older than me would instil some maturity into this man but that clearly was not the case.
I knew that I had to cut him loose because I was not physically attracted to him and he was making me very uncomfortable. After some encouraging words from Tyler, I explained to Harry that we were not on the same page and sent him the following text:
“When I first met you, I got more of a friend vibe than anything else. Yes I flirted but at the end of the day, it was more of a friend vibe. When I told you on Sunday that I wasn’t looking for a relationship and you said that you could be my drinking/dancing buddy, I thought that we were on the same page. However, I feel as though when I said I didn’t want a relationship, it may have gotten translated into wanting to be friends with benefits. That is not something I want either. I’m sorry if I led you on. You seem like a nice guy but whatever is happening right now is not going to work”.
It has been 8 hours and he has not responded which makes me think that I caught him in his own player game.
I had to kick the sketchingitis out before it absorbed me like my past relationships did. I never should have lowered myself to his own petty player game but just know that if you are ever in doubt, GET OUT!
Being single for six months has taught me to put myself first and that’s exactly what I did. I also learned that maturity comes with life experience and not with age.
I was going to try online dating when I came back from Montreal but I realized that I don’t need to. Right now, I would rather spend time with friends and enjoy a nice social life. When the right guy comes, he will come.
Moral of this long story? Enjoy life. Stop thinking of being single as a curse and start thinking of it as a blessing. You will gain so much self-respect and respect from others.
Never accept anything less than you deserve.
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother