5 Reasons You Should Never Settle

JamesMSama.com

As I sit here to write this article, I’m in our hotel room overlooking the beach. The waves sound so close you feel like you can put your hand out the window and touch them. My girlfriend is making coffee. Her tanned skin is accentuated even further by the stark white walls. The rays of sun are coming through the blinds signaling a new day has begun. Michael Bublé is permeating the room from my laptop speakers.

Next to me on the table is this month’s copy of Esquire, the cover of which is beckoning us with “84 Things A Man Should Do Before He Dies.” And I sit here thinking to myself – no matter how many failures I face or how hard life becomes, I refuse to settle.

You can settle for less than you deserve in many areas of life. A job you can’t stand going to…

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Nothing lasts forever

Nothing lasts forever.
Having my parents divorced taught me that.
Having my grandmother die prematurely made me realize that.
Even the best marriages and the worst sufferings end with death.
Everything changes.
Nothing stays the same.
We speak of forever as if we are not bound by our own mortality.
If time and space didn’t matter.
It does matter.
It is true that the soul is immortal
But why waste a life of happiness here
To ask for compensation elsewhere?
Do good things for their own sake.
Laugh more.
Live more.
Do not just merely exist.
Never cease to smile because
Nothing is permanent.

Can Casual Dating work for a Serial Monogamist?

Sounds like an intriguing question, doesn’t it?

I have always dated guys with an exclusive view in mind. If I were to go on a date with another guy, I would consider it cheating. Many guys I dated and later with whom I got into relationships had that exclusive view in mind too. However, after my last relationship, I realized what the REAL dating world is like.

My date with Mickey back in November was a disaster because I expected too much from it. We had great chemistry on the dance floor but it turns out that beer goggles blinded me from how bland this guy was.

Since Montreal, I have tried casual dating and I find that it is working for me (shocking right?). I have been talking to three different guys and I find that weaning out guys and finding a front runner works better than putting too much hope into one guy right away. The three guys: Zack, Tony and Harry.

You are all probably wondering: How is Zack a possibility? He wasn’t but he has tried for a fourth time to pick me up and I thought I would explain it here.

I posted a nice picture of myself enjoying dinner and a nice glass of Sangria on Friday night. Since he has been stalking me on social media, he commented that my grin was going to get him in trouble. Feeling clever, I replied that it was pretty criminal. He asked me to text him and I did but only in order to finally set the record straight.

When I messaged him, he didn’t bother to say hello or ask how I was. He asked immediately where I lived and if I drove. I answered his questions hesitantly and then asked him why. He asked me:

Z: “How could we cuddle on my days off?”

Me: “We aren’t”.

Z: “?”

Me: “Look I’ll be honest with you. I don’t know you that well and some of the things that you are saying come off very forward to the point of being uncomfortable”.

Z: “Thanks for letting me know”

Me: “No problem”

Some guys are just stupid and need a reminder that what they are doing is crossing the line.

However, Zack is not stupid, he’s ignorant.

Z: “You free in a couple of days?”

Me: “Sorry, I have a lot of things due”

Z: “Me too, we should alleviate the stress by cuddling”

Me: “No thanks, I’m good :P”

Z: “What will it take?”

Me: “Dude, you barely know me”

Z: “My favourite colour is green though”

Since then, I have blocked him off every single form of social media possible and when I figure out how to do it, will block his number. There is definitely no possibility of friendship  here. He’s a tool.

Now, who’s Tony? Tony is the cutie that I met in Montreal. He is a year younger and was very sweet to me at the clubs by dancing with me and holding my hand. It felt like we were high school sweethearts. Whenever he wasn’t able to talk, he would always explain why and he is not obligated to do so. He promised me that he would message me but he hasn’t done so. I’m giving it a couple more days but if he doesn’t message, I think we will just be friends. After all, I can’t be the busboy of my own love life.

You are all most likely rereading the guys’ names and thinking, “Harry?!?! Didn’t you kick him to the curb?” Well, Harry has made a case for himself. He ended up calling me the next morning and understood where I was coming from. He said that if I was willing to put everything that happened behind us, he still thought I was cute and wanted to get to know me as a person. I was happy that this was the case and agreed.

As I got to know Harry better, I liked him more. He also got a major makeover and that may sound superficial to comment on but when someone feels good about themselves and does something to accentuate their features, it looks amazing!

We still flirt but it is toned down and we are really focusing on getting to know who the other person is.

So, is Harry the front runner? It could be possible if Tony is no longer a competitor.

Here’s hoping that all goes well because there’s a good chance I will be seeing him soon!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Zack does a Hat Trick: will people ever learn?

Hey everyone,

So here is a quick update for you before I have to bury my head in books in order to study for my midterm tomorrow. This happened prior to Montreal (literally a day before!) but I have so many updates to share that I have to post them in this order that doesn’t seem consecutive.

I was packing for Montreal when I get a message from Zack, asking if he could show me a picture of his fitness progress. I started laughing because how was my lack of conversation for approximately two weeks an invitation?

My mother and I are close so I filled her in on what was going on with Zack. She took a different approach: she thought that I misinterpreted his intentions and that I should give him a chance. I knew that she was naïve and I had to prove her wrong.

So I message him “sure” and all I had to do was turn the phone towards my mother and she was eating her words.

It was a selfie of him in nothing but boxer briefs and well, he was giving a new definition to “tightie-whities”. He asked me what I thought and I knew that his ego was on the line, so I bursted his bubble.

“It’s nice”.

“But?”

“No buts, it’s nice”.

“So what has been your excuse for not texting me?”

“Just been really busy getting ready for my trip”.

At that moment, when I assumed he realized that I had more important things in my life than him, he stopped contacting me but will continuously stalk me on social media (big surprise there).

People, you are not going to attract everyone you want. Look at your approach and your attitude. If it is not working out with multiple people, you need to re-evaluate how you can be a better significant other.

A relationship is a package deal but it is not about “the package”. So get your mind out of the gutter and allow your heart to flutter!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

 

By The Modern Day Fairy Godmother Posted in dating life