My first goodbye and its aftermath

Hey everyone,

Sorry about the delays with posts. Unfortunately, there will continue to be some delays until after April 13th. Thank you for bearing with me during this time and I assure you that my posts will be entertaining (quality over quantity). In the meantime, I hope that you are enjoying my reblogs and #TipTuesday tips on Twitter.

A lot has happened since my last post. Tony seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. We are never free at the same time. As a result, I think that he and I will develop more of a friendship than anything else.

I have been bold and have given my number out to some guys but I have never heard from them. I still think that I’m an attractive woman but these guys just wanted something pretty at which to look and not something serious.

Then, there’s Harry. What happened with him? Well, it was nothing short of complicated.

Harry and I agreed to meet for coffee. I told him around what time I would be there and I was purposely attempting to be just a couple of minutes late. However, he was ten minutes late and I was freezing while waiting for him. He apologized and we moved on.

He wanted to grab lunch and asked me if I wanted anything. I said no because I wasn’t hungry at all. He joked about how one should eat every couple of hours but I wasn’t going to stuff my face with food if I wasn’t hungry. He grabbed his food and we went into a local McDonald’s.

We had to buy something as he would get in trouble for just eating his food in there. So I decided that I was going to get a sundae. Thinking that he would act like a gentleman on this coffee date, I thought that he would pay for the sundae. He refused to as he said that he would prefer to buy me dinner as it was something of better quality. I understood where he was coming from but I explained that this was cheaper and I’m not a girl who likes a guy to spend a lot of money. He didn’t budge, so I paid.

We sat down and I was excited as we both expressed how we wanted to get to know each other. One problem: he only wanted to talk about himself. When I brought up how he was asking very little about me, he explained that getting to know someone is a process that should not be rushed. I agreed with him but my last boyfriend did not open up to me whatsoever and I didn’t want a repeat. Dialogue has to be reciprocated and it wasn’t the case.

We spoke some more and we looked at each other’s phones, just going through some cool pictures and looking at each other’s playlists. I noticed that he liked a lot of the same music that Doug liked. So that was annoying but what can you do?

He came over to my side and put his arm around me as we watching some funny show on the T.V. It felt so natural until his arm moved downwards towards my butt. I grabbed his hand and he apologized.

It was getting a bit stuffy in there, so we decided to go for a walk. We walked around his campus and he kept making sexual references along the way. Then, we got to one of the engineering buildings, where he and I sat down and did our homework. I was bored out of my mind and thought that this had to be the worst date I had ever been on.

I had to leave to catch a train but didn’t know how to get to the nearest subway. We literally stepped outside of the classroom and he pointed to the streets that would lead to where it was. I was still confused and as he was headed back into the building, I asked him if he was serious. He sighed and  reluctantly came with me.

He was making jokes along the way of if I wanted him to hold my hand to get there safely and I was not having any of it. Then, he stopped me and asked if I thought that it was a date. I replied that I did. His attitude immediately changed.

He explained how he just wanted to hang out since he hadn’t seen me since Montreal and that this could have been a pre-date. He was trying to hold my hand but I let go of it.

We arrived at the station and I could tell that he felt bad. He wanted to make it up to me by going on a “real” date shortly afterwards but our schedules did not line up. We left off saying that we would work it out. He gave me a couple of kisses on the cheek that honestly, made me melt inside. His smooth lips on my cheek gently placed themselves in a way that felt so attentive. Unfortunately, he probably did not feel anything when I gave him a kiss on the cheek because all I got was his thick beard.

I hopped on the subway, wanting to cry, wanting to think, wanting to not be confused.

Thanks to our busy schedules, I had some time away from Harry to just think and I realized that he and I were incompatible. Our priorities were different. During the “date”, he mentioned that he couldn’t settle down and I was looking for a serious relationship. We both acted like players but in truth, my player act was just having my guard up and his wasn’t.

He called me a few days later, asking about when I would want to go on our date and I had to break the bad news to him. He met it with a lot of resistance and became very cold very fast.

I explained how this decision was not an easy one to make. Usually when I have ended things with a guy, it was because of what a best friend had witnessed. To find things out for myself and make that decision independently was new to me but empowering. After all, I did not want to give him half of what someone who loves someone deserves, unlike Juan Pablo from The Bachelor.

I always said since starting this blog that “when in doubt, get out”. Finally, I was following my own advice.

He chastised me for giving him mixed signals. I apologized for that and told him that I was just confused. He then started to mock me by saying how I would probably change my mind the next day and then, insulted me, saying how he would only want to go on a date with me because he was bored. He hung up afterwards.

I always heard that men do not take rejection well but that took it to another level.

This was a guy with whom I still wanted to be friends. After that show of immaturity, I would have been okay if Harry did not want to talk to me.

The first few days were weird. We used to talk all the time and not having that was different. Then, I moved on with my life. I had too many important deadlines to make.

It was almost two weeks later when Harry decided to call. I did not answer at first because I originally thought that he was drunk. I decided to call him back. If he was hammered, I would hang up. If not, I would hear him out.

I called him back and he was trying to sweet talk me, asking me how I was, how school was going and how my family was. I told him that it was odd for him to be calling me since we did not leave on good terms, some of the things he said were rude and that he dropped off the face of the earth. He did one thing that most wouldn’t do.

He owned up and apologized.

He said that I burst his ego and that since he felt put in a corner, he reacted how he did. I understood where he was coming from and accepted his apology. Then, he told me that he wanted to be honest with me. He said that he thought that I was cute and sweet and wanted a second chance.

Most guys I have been interested in in the past (with the exception of Doug) have asked for me back. However, no guy was making the effort like Harry. He asked me to think about it and that he would promise to be more respectful. I told him that my decision still stood and that if it had changed, I would have called him within those two weeks. So, we have decided to be friends.

The important thing here is to be true to yourself. I knew that Harry was not going to make as happy as someone else may have and no one could change that opinion. If Harry and I were ever to date, he would have to work on himself but he has to do it for him, not for me. I’m not saying that I’m perfect but his flaws and my flaws would constantly collide.

Now, Harry seems to be acting weird. At one moment, he will be excited to talk to me and then next avoiding me like the plague. It may be that he is trying to adjust to being only friends but we shall see.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

 

 

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