The Bachelor-Bachelorette Double Standard

The Bachelor-Bachelorette Double Standard

I have been a loyal Bachelor/Bachelorette fan for the past ten years. I have witnessed the romance, the tears, the laughter and of course, the drama. However, as I have grown, I have noticed something completely appalling.

If anyone watched last night’s episode, Andi’s first group date was to OHM nightclub where the guys had to strip for charity. The men’s nerves seemed to barely be an issue as the guys stripped down to speedos and man thongs and had some fun while Andi and the ladies were cheering them on.

On the contrary, I had to say that if this was The Bachelor and the women had to swing around some poles for charity, there would be riots everywhere. It may be the result of having the majority of viewers being female but still, we are easy to call Juan Pablo a pig but how about Andi?

Past Bachelor seasons had women in less than clothing situations. Jason’s season had the women paint moulds of their breasts and Juan Pablo had Andi and Lily have signs placed strategically over genitals and breasts and of course, their only defense was that everything was in the name of charity. Nonetheless, there was a different vibe, almost an awkward one in The Bachelor than it was in last night’s episode.

What do you guys think? Let me know by writing a comment!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

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Signs that they are cheating

Signs that they are cheating

Hey everyone,

So I haven’t posted a “heartbreak” post in a while and don’t worry, things are going great with the guy with whom I am speaking. I was inspired to write this post by reading an article by Patti Stanger from Millionaire Matchmaker. I love Patti because I usually take a no nonsense approach to things like she does but I had to disagree with her post on signs to tell if someone is cheating. In my opinion, they were very generic. Therefore, as a result of being cheated on multiple times, I thought that I would share my list with you:

  1. Gut instinct. Patti mentioned this in her blog and I agree with her as well. If something is not right, it probably isn’t.
  2. Contact with a past lover or former significant other. This happens way too often. An EX can easily become a NEXT. You should be their future, not a yoyo between their past and what they make of it.
  3. Being invited often to go somewhere with a “friend” and that friend never invites you. There is nothing wrong with your significant other having time with friends, both same sex and opposite sex, but when they are fully excluding you, be aware.
  4. Hanging out in inappropriate places. Do they love the strip clubs or like spending one on one time in a hot tub with a person they found attractive? These can be breeding grounds for infidelity.
  5. Lack of contact, affection or initiative. Sorry folks, they have lost interest.
  6. Lack of attention. Constantly texting when you are trying to talk to them?  Not really listening to what you have to say? This could represent a lack of interest or that they have developed interest elsewhere.
  7. They are controlling or constantly on edge. They have something to hide, that’s why and they want to limit your resources of knowledge of figuring that out.

Agree with my list? Disagree? Did I leave something out? Want to share your story?  Write a comment!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Who is Responsible For Your Happiness?

Who is Responsible For Your Happiness?

A great article! I would like to add that the reason why we should make another person happy is because the essence of who they are is a bonus to our happiness, not a foundation for it. You need to be happy first within yourself and then making an another person happy should be recipricol on the part of both you and your significant other

Love is patient

Love is patient

Hey everyone,

Sorry that I haven’t been posting lately but it will officially be a part of my routine.

As of May 15th, 2014, The Modern Day Fairy Godmother has turned 1 years old! I couldn’t thank you all enough for your continued support and loyalty. This blog has been an amazing success and I look forward to future growth.

However, it hasn’t been only growth of this blog that has occurred but also personal growth. When I started this blog, I was in a relationship, thinking that I knew everything about love but it took a painful breakup to realize I didn’t. I have learned to love myself and realized what works best for me and I would like to thank you all for embarking on this journey with me.

Anyways, I have learnt a lot from online dating. The art of conversation has true value and I’m glad that the people whom I have met can carry on great conversations.

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that someone with common interests and similar background stories doesn’t not always equate to being a perfect match. I was talking to one guy with whom I had so much in common but he realized that he couldn’t handle a serious relationship at this point in his life. I appreciated his honesty, despite my frustration, but we may become friends in the future.

What I have learned is that it is good to have things in common but it is much more important to have similar mind sets. I have met a wonderful man who is truly a go getter and pensive just like I am and really makes an effort to get to know me. He is always the first to compliment and he always end our conversations with “Thank you for the inspiring conversation”.

I know that my purpose in life is to be an inspiration but I am so happy to make this guy as happy as he makes me. I haven’t known him for long but I see true potential but I’ll try to contain my excitement.

He is always eager to ask me about my day and vice versa. He asked me to play 21 questions which is something that I like to do for which my friends tease me, so it was nice to find someone who enjoys that as well.

Let’s hope for the best and I wish you nothing but luck in your love lives 🙂

Sincerely,
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Getting back out there

Getting back out there

So you’re over them, you are better than ever and want to be in a relationship once more. However, you feel like a fish out of water, not knowing what to expect or what to do. I understand because I feel the exact same way. There were many times in my past relationships where I was too forward or too naive that I fear making those mistakes again. Nevertheless, it is a new start and one should learn from their past, not have it determine your future. Here are some tips that I am finding helpful:

It’s okay to be excited about someone! 

If someone makes you happy, why not feel happy? Just don’t plan your wedding guest list, your kids’ names and where you will be living the rest of your lives prior to engagement.

Establish early lines of communication.

When something is wrong, tell them early on. You can then see if they are interested in your concerns and reconcile them or see if they are not the person for you.

Reengage

This was something new that I have tried. Sometimes life gets busy and someone may not make as much of an effort as you would have hoped for. Therefore, it’s important to ask them, as nonchalantly and casually as possible, if there is anything they would like to ask or know about you. Usually, this gives them a wake up call and they will realize something that they may not have noticed.

Get your hormones in check.

Get to know them as a person. It shouldn’t be all about looks or sexual chemistry. When you first meet them, excitement should be directed more towards meeting them and not necessarily meeting a pretty face. Saying “you look great!” may be a nice gesture but how can you naturally flow into a good conversation? Perhaps, start out with “I’m glad we could have the chance to meet one another. Life can sure get busy!” and then follow with “What do you do in your spare time”? Sometimes, the art of a good conversation can get lost. Don’t lose it, please.

Weigh out pros and cons and give love a chance

Not everything is always black and white. Honestly, I thought that a guy was just acting sketchy when responding at odd hours but I just found out that he is a DJ. Now the world makes sense. Allow for grey areas but not for manipulation.

Hope this helps!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Trying something new

Trying something new

Hey everyone,

Sorry for the crazy hiatus. I am finally done exams and ready to focus on not just one blog but two! Check out my new blog: 1060ft2.wordpress.com. It’s the story of my blended family and all the daily hassles that come with six people living in 1060 squared feet.

So I have decided to try something new: online dating. The reason why I chose to do this was because I felt like I was meeting guys in all the wrong places. When I meet guys at the club, they only want one thing and when I meet guys through friends, I find that they don’t know what they want.  So, I wanted to try online dating, so that way I can screen these guys and really be able to go for what I want.

It amazed me how picky I have become. I mean, how hard is to find a non-smoking, non-binge drinking, educated, intelligent, somewhat religious, non-vegan nor vegetarian, athletic, tall, dark and handsome guy who knows how to cook and is in their early to mid-twenties? Apparently, a lot harder than I thought.

I already had one guy disappoint me, named Rob. We lived so close to one another and the conversation was going great until I found out that he lied about being a smoker on his profile. I had to let him go.

There have been some flakes, some crazy old perverts and some guys who may just have potential. Time will tell if I will find the right guy but I know that I won’t settle for less than I deserve.

However, I am going to give some much needed advice for anyone who wants to try online dating:

  1. Don’t let the enormous amount of views get to your head. Your soulmate is probably not looking at your profile within the first hour of activation.
  2. Display a clear picture of yourself which means one that is not blurry, nor with one of you wearing sunglasses, nor a side profile, nor one of you looking downwards nor with five thousand people. A nice headshot that shows your face will do the trick.
  3. Be honest with the information you put on your profile. The truth always come out eventually.
  4. We know when your account is a fake. We have been plastered with pictures of celebrities. We know you are not twenty two when your hair is all grey. How stupid do you think we are?
  5. Only subscribe to three months. After that, you should probably try another method of finding people.
  6. Don’t be afraid to block people.
  7. Don’t settle.
  8. Get to know a person through various methods such as phone calls or Skyping before agreeing to a first date.
  9. Be a little more professional in your profile. A picture of you smoking a bong or a description of saying that you don’t know what you want will attract only one thing: a one night stand.
  10. It’s okay to get excited over someone but use your brain too. Nothing wrong with messaging first.

All the best to you! Wish me luck.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother