So you’re over them, you are better than ever and want to be in a relationship once more. However, you feel like a fish out of water, not knowing what to expect or what to do. I understand because I feel the exact same way. There were many times in my past relationships where I was too forward or too naive that I fear making those mistakes again. Nevertheless, it is a new start and one should learn from their past, not have it determine your future. Here are some tips that I am finding helpful:
It’s okay to be excited about someone!
If someone makes you happy, why not feel happy? Just don’t plan your wedding guest list, your kids’ names and where you will be living the rest of your lives prior to engagement.
Establish early lines of communication.
When something is wrong, tell them early on. You can then see if they are interested in your concerns and reconcile them or see if they are not the person for you.
This was something new that I have tried. Sometimes life gets busy and someone may not make as much of an effort as you would have hoped for. Therefore, it’s important to ask them, as nonchalantly and casually as possible, if there is anything they would like to ask or know about you. Usually, this gives them a wake up call and they will realize something that they may not have noticed.
Get your hormones in check.
Get to know them as a person. It shouldn’t be all about looks or sexual chemistry. When you first meet them, excitement should be directed more towards meeting them and not necessarily meeting a pretty face. Saying “you look great!” may be a nice gesture but how can you naturally flow into a good conversation? Perhaps, start out with “I’m glad we could have the chance to meet one another. Life can sure get busy!” and then follow with “What do you do in your spare time”? Sometimes, the art of a good conversation can get lost. Don’t lose it, please.
Weigh out pros and cons and give love a chance
Not everything is always black and white. Honestly, I thought that a guy was just acting sketchy when responding at odd hours but I just found out that he is a DJ. Now the world makes sense. Allow for grey areas but not for manipulation.
Hope this helps!
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother