So you’re exclusive, you go on a few dates, you have those long two hour conversations, perhaps a first kiss and interest is developing. Now what? The excitement of a potential relationship is at the tip of your tongue but slow down. You still need some time before making it official.
It can be really obvious that the both of you are compatible but wouldn’t you want a relationship to make sense for the BOTH of you first? Just because it only took your exes one month of dates before getting into a relationship doesn’t mean that your next suitor is going to be the same way. After all, your exes are exes for a reason and it’s not a smart idea to make them your dating guideline.
You have to take that time to invest in someone and in really getting to know someone before making them your significant other. Who wants to date a stranger? Certainly you will discover new things about them everyday but you should know many of the IMPORTANT things about them first such as something simple as their favourite colour to if they want kids to what they think their purpose in life is, etc.
I would average at about three dates before getting into my past relationships but it didn’t do me any favours. I felt like I had no idea who they were, they weren’t being open and honest and all of a sudden, they would have an identity crisis. I feel like relationships take more than just a “couple’s quiz” to measure if you know enough about one another. They take TIME.
You shouldn’t go into every date wondering when he/she will ask about a relationship. In that sense, you are in love with the idea of a relationship and not the person. You are using them as a means to an end. Sure, you want a relationship and may have not been in one for a while but it’s even better to get to know someone where they can put the “friend” in girlfriend or boyfriend.
Wouldn’t you want someone to say “I love you, (insert name)” because they love everything about you? Your dreams, flaws and successes included? Or would you rather have someone just say “I love my boyfriend/girlfriend” which could be so meaningless when it conveys solely loving the idea of a relationship.
Love should be like a flower and continuously grow rather than a racecar rushing to the finish line.
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother