“For Better and For Worse” was a common phrase that I heard when I was a child. Whether it was watching my parents’ wedding video, hearing them out of newlyweds as a flowergirl for three weddings or as a title of a briefly aired show that is now only see as comics in a newspaper, for better and for worse was important.
However, I now reflect on the phrase and smile. We look at it as an ideal but is theory really put into practice? If we put so much importance on that phrase that we include it in vows, why are so many divorces happening so often and so quickly?
Here’s why: the Honeymoon Period. It is seriously a trap. I’m not talking about going away after your wedding. I’m talking about being so lovey-dovey in a fantasy land that it completely and overtly avoids reality. It’s about wanting everything to be magically perfect that all fights are avoided and everything builds up volcano-style. What you thought was an eternal flame becomes extinguished. Sounds familiar? Well it sounds like every past relationship for me.
The key is honesty. You may LOVE your significant other but you may not LIKE everything about them. They may chew their nails, be a backseat driver or forget to put the toilet seat down. It may drive you nuts but you still care about them anyway.
The fact of the matter is that you are going to get on each other’s nerves and butt heads at times. It could be them taking out stress at work on you, feel like they are not paying attention or just wanting a bit more help around the house. Don’t ignore the small things: squash them early and become stronger from it.
Superman and I have had our spats and we are not even in a relationship yet. Some may say that spells out trouble. I say that it spells out success. With every spat squashed, we learn more about one another: what we value, what we want and what we care about. At the end of the day, if I can say that I care more about him than any fight (which I do each and every time), I know that our connection is strong enough to conquer everything.
Go through every hardship together and become even more united than before. After all, how can you have an unconditional love when you don’t allow yourself to experience all of the different conditions?
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother