You see someone at a bar who is looking at you and smiling. They’re really cute. You just don’t know to approach them. Your best friend gives you a mischievous grin and you are hoping that they don’t act like Barney from How I Met Your Mother, pulling you up and asking “Have you met Ted?”
First meetings and impressions can be awkward and uncomfortable to say the least. After all, how do you gain the attention of someone you know nothing about? The wingman or wingwoman is usually a favourite but I argue that it is only useful in one situation: among friends.
If you are at an event with your friend, they can introduce you to their friends and if you strike up conversation with someone of interest, it’s a success! However, if they are doing your work for you, it’s a major failure.
How so? Confidence is a big asset in sex appeal and attraction. Getting your buddy to go up to a guy/girl and tell them that “my friend over there really likes you. What do you think?” is as appealing as watching paint dry. It’s a middle school tactic that not only makes it incredibly awkward for you but also for the person whose attention you are trying to get.
A person who takes initiative is a person who is remembered. It does not matter what gender you are. If you want to talk to someone, TALK TO THEM and please don’t use a pick up line. I started talking to Superman by simply saying “Hey, how’s it going?” It worked. It was something neutral and not sensitive and you can build from there.
Even non-verbal cues work. If you are across the bar, you can motion that you are going to get another drink or nod over to the dancefloor and see if they follow. If not, you know that they are just not that into you. It also doesn’t hurt to pay attention to what they are interested in. If you are at a coffee shop, see if they are reading a book or newspaper. Perhaps pick up the same newspaper, read it and smile at them. A commonality is established and it’s a sweet gesture that you want to get involved in their interests.
It’s about being personable and approachable. Another person cannot do that for you.
What have you done or another person has done in order to break the ice? Sound off in the comments below!
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother