If Rome wasn’t built in a day, why should love?
Do problems in the bedroom spell doom for relationships? It depends on your ‘sexpectations’
Do problems in the bedroom spell doom in a long-term relationship? It depends on what you believe, according to Jessica Maxwell, a PhD candidate and social psychology researcher at the University of Toronto. Maxwell analyzed the sexual belief systems of 1,900 individuals for a new study published online in the Journal of Personality and Social…
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I still remember the first question to my boyfriend after asking how he was: What are you looking for in a relationship?
This became the most important question because in the three elements he identified, I learned so much about him. We established from the beginning that we had common morals and values. However, as our relationship progressed, I found out that our interests weren’t always the same. In fact, we had more differences than commonalities. He is into rock music, I like dance. He is into horror, I like roller coasters. It was easy for my mind to go back to those teenage magazine quizzes and think that we failed because we do not like the same cookie (or something else that was very minuscule).
I freaked out and asked Superman what we had in common. He said our love for adventure, good stories and adrenaline. I sat back and was in shock that I could have missed this. It truly demonstrated that the minuscule things do not matter and it is so much better to have the most important things in common. If anything, our differences make our story that much more interesting.
So forget having the same favourite moving, song, whatever. If you want all of that, date yourself.
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother
Love was a self-educated concept.
I grew up in a house that was ruled under an iron fist. The motto was ” Do as I say, not as I do”. I guess they meant well but were they role models for learning about love? Not really.
Everything got framed around a warped definition of unconditional love. The screaming, the derogatory comments, the infidelity, the corporal punishment and the heavy manipulation. Yup, these “mere imperfections” could all be ignored because we all love each other.
This illogical reasoning allowed me to excuse abusive behaviour from both love interests and relatives. It was only after years of advising others of their own self-respect and self-worth that I had a realization:
I should practice what I preach.
I got into my 20s, after an extremely emotionally abusive relationship, and I chose to reinvent myself. I soul searched, got into a healthier state of mind and took care of myself, encompassing everything that entailed.
People called me a bad ass, a bitch, a selfless woman who would only intimidate men. I called it empowerment and that was the truth.
I don’t let things go too easily, which can be my best quality and my worst fault. However, I don’t accept disrespect, even when my defence is not perfect, but can you blame me? I had to be both student and teacher!
By learning from myself, I achieved responsibility by owning up to my own mistakes and became my own role model. It is through this imperfect learning process that I take pride in my current success.
Life’s good but I had to work to make it that way.
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother