Why do people cheat?

Cheaters are never fun and I truly believe that once a cheater, always a cheater. I have been cheated on multiple times in the past and I have friends who have both been cheated on and were cheaters. These are the reasons from my observations over the years (I have added some ones that people have cited to the poll but they are not what has been observed).

Unresolved feelings for their ex. They still keep many (probably too many) momentos from their past relationship and talk about their ex more often than you would like to admit. Face it, you are just a rebound and the go-between during their waiting time to rekindle their fire again.

Too much distance between you and your significant other. You both don’t talk like you used to nor are as affectionate. Feel like you are barely in a relationship? They feel the same way too and are already envoking single-life privileges!

Someone attends to their needs better. This is no fault of your own but the selfishness of your partner. Not ready to have sex? Work is making you take time away from home? If your SO does not respect that, they are going to find someone who can cater to them, regardless of your needs.

Not enough time being single before getting into a relationship. They see a piece of eye candy, a NICE piece of eye candy and cannot help themselves. They want to explore because they did not have much of a chance to before they got into a relationship. Basically, they are eating their cake and having it too (or trying to!)

What do you think people’s reasons are for cheating? Answer by voting in the poll or commenting below!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

 

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Finding loopholes in monogamy

It is indeed late tonight but I couldn’t hold in my thoughts after a friend of mine brought this video to my attention. With laptop at hand and some furious Lady Gaga songs on repeat, I am ready to address this issue.

I have nothing against polygamous nor open relationships and marriages. It’s not my style but whatever works for the individual, works. However, when one makes the devotional and faithful promises involved in a MONOGAMOUS relationship, why create something that ruins the very fabric of it? This is the aim of Ashley Madison.

The founder, Noel Biderman, argues that infidelity is inevitable in every society and that having an affair using Ashley Madison opens communication and is all about honesty. However, all he promotes is dishonesty by promoting the riddance of “Digital Lipstick”  which includes erasing any history of any contact on the website and faking receipts. This man is truly pathetic and delusional if he is claiming anything less than this truth.

Dr. Phil, you couldn’t have said this better!

Honestly, if a relationship isn’t working, FIX IT! Don’t go and literally buy yourself a new toy with which to play. If it can’t be fixed, end the relationship and then search for other options, not the other way around. There are many ways to improve a relationship in all its aspects if both parties are willing.

“Life is short. Have an affair”.

With the one you already love!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

 

Signs that they are cheating

Hey everyone,

So I haven’t posted a “heartbreak” post in a while and don’t worry, things are going great with the guy with whom I am speaking. I was inspired to write this post by reading an article by Patti Stanger from Millionaire Matchmaker. I love Patti because I usually take a no nonsense approach to things like she does but I had to disagree with her post on signs to tell if someone is cheating. In my opinion, they were very generic. Therefore, as a result of being cheated on multiple times, I thought that I would share my list with you:

  1. Gut instinct. Patti mentioned this in her blog and I agree with her as well. If something is not right, it probably isn’t.
  2. Contact with a past lover or former significant other. This happens way too often. An EX can easily become a NEXT. You should be their future, not a yoyo between their past and what they make of it.
  3. Being invited often to go somewhere with a “friend” and that friend never invites you. There is nothing wrong with your significant other having time with friends, both same sex and opposite sex, but when they are fully excluding you, be aware.
  4. Hanging out in inappropriate places. Do they love the strip clubs or like spending one on one time in a hot tub with a person they found attractive? These can be breeding grounds for infidelity.
  5. Lack of contact, affection or initiative. Sorry folks, they have lost interest.
  6. Lack of attention. Constantly texting when you are trying to talk to them?  Not really listening to what you have to say? This could represent a lack of interest or that they have developed interest elsewhere.
  7. They are controlling or constantly on edge. They have something to hide, that’s why and they want to limit your resources of knowledge of figuring that out.

Agree with my list? Disagree? Did I leave something out? Want to share your story?  Write a comment!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother