This is always such a hotly debated issue, if you want to call it an issue at all. Superman and I were talking about it last night and he told me that he saw a segment of how 77% of people believe that in heterosexual couples, a man should pay for the date.
You see statistics. I see bogus.
There is a clear observer bias. If the interviewer was a woman, women are more likely to say that a man should pay, despite feminist perspectives. In a world of capitalism that favours white male privilege, how can we possibly expect a woman to pay? Men are also more likely to say that they should pay, regardless of the gender of the interviewer, because men may not want to offend the female interviewer and seem like a gentleman or may want to look good in front of a male peer. Women may change their response if a male interviewer was present in order not to offend.
I cannot change individuals who hold tightly the tradition of men paying for every date. It is so ingrained into their minds as they have been socialized to do so. However, I am not one for tradition.
This is my general rule for the first date: The person who asks the other for a first date is the one who pays. Simple as that.
After that date, I enjoy taking turns. I have been in both relationships where the person primarily paid and where I primarily paid. I do not like other situations: you either are using or are the one being used. It’s about fairness and I don’t think that someone should be made a bank just because a century old etiquette manual declared it.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments below!
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother