How To Get Through A Rough Patch 

Hey everyone! 

It feels so good to be back. I have been busy but I have also been learning. Next weekend will mark Superman and I’s 3rd anniversary. Although we are very happy, we have also had our challenges. 

Rough patches are a matter of growth: either growing together or growing apart. Both are valuable learning experiences but what if you want to get out of one? 

Firstly, in order to succeed as a couple through a rough patch, it takes TWO people to make it work. Otherwise, just end the relationship now. Having one person do all the work is like a seesaw just becoming an upright stick in the sand. 

Secondly, evaluate your self-respect. If you feel like being with this person equates with diminishing your self-worth, you deserve better. Even though relationships are selfless, they must also be selfish. Is this relationship benefitting you mind, body and soul? If it’s not, they are not the person for you. 

Thirdly, assess the underlying interests. Do you think that there is a lack of respect? Are you going through a rough time in your life? Do you feel unappreciated? You can’t beat around the bush with these. By being open and honest, you can achieve mutual understanding and resolution.

Finally, give things both space and time. If you both love one another and are willing to put in the work, success is possible. It won’t happen overnight but it can eventually work. 

As the song goes, “just the two of us. We can make it if we try”. 

Sincerely, 

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother 

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I Can Live Without You

They say that you should marry the person you can’t live without.
I can live without you. I can get my tired ass up to eat my three 400 calorie meals a day, slave over essays and spend mind numbing hours at work. 
I can still succeed because I’m a hard worker and was before you came into my life. 
I can still be happy because you are not the sole root of my happiness. My happiness began with myself and the people and things in my life are the branches.
But…
Who would I share my triumphs, sorrows and challenges with? Sure I can share those with friends and family but there is something truly unique about your understanding, encouragement and support. 
Who would make me laugh and smile so much that I felt like I was dating a childhood best friend? No one truly ignites my soul like you do. 
Who would inspire me with their ambition, creativity and passion? I have people in my life but no one I really consider so similar to me.
One can get used to lack of companionship, affection and attention. At the same time, a tired, miserable couple can live with one another, even though they are reluctant to do so.
You are not my addiction nor a filling of a void, so my love for you isn’t a sedation for a hatred of living my own life. 
You’re in my life because simply YOU are in my life and that is what I love. 
So in these ways, yes I can live without you but why the hell would I WANT to? 

I love you Superman ❤️

TMDFG

We have officially reached over 3000 views!

Hey everyone!

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother has officially reached over 3000 views! This is amazing 🙂 Thank you all for your support and kind words. I would like to reach 10,000 views by the end of the year, so we will see what happens.

Wishing you and your loved ones a Happy Valentine’s Day!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

“Let’s make it official”

Hey everyone!

Sorry about the late posting, it has been very busy over the past two weeks. Posts may be a bit more sparse because I am going back to school but I will try my best to post at least once a week.

Some may have heard the news but if you haven’t: As of August 27th, Superman is now my boyfriend! I am so blessed to take this next step with him. Here is how everything happened:

We went to the CNE and were going on the rides. The first ride was a ferris wheel. I honestly thought that he would ask me then but it didn’t happen. I wasn’t disappointed because I knew that he would ask me at the right time. I had bugged him before about taking the next step and he told me to trust him. So I did just that.

As we were going on other rides and looking at other exhibits, the psychic booth caught my attention. My mother used to never allow me to go when I was a kid, so it drove me to try it out. Superman told me that it wasn’t something of which he was too fond but at only $10, I didn’t see any harm.

I regretted ever going. This psychic had nothing but bad to say about me and even worse, they were all lies about me. She said I lacked focus (false!), have a divorce/separation in my future (an insult considering that I come from a divorced family) and that I have tendencies that belong to a cheater (an utter blasphemy considering how many times I have been cheated on). I met Superman outside and he asked me how it went. He could tell that it had affected me. I saw other women come from these booths distraught as well. NOTE TO READERS: DON’T GO TO THE PSYCHIC BOOTHS AT THE CNE! He told me that nothing she said was true and that I am a woman that defies the odds. It made me feel better.

Superman suggested that we go on the Skyride and head home. We hopped on and he started talking about how amazing our connection is. I thought it was really sweet because we have these talks often and it is nice to know that things are going well. Then, he said it:

“I love you”.

I had no regrets, no hesitations and no nerves. I was just in utter awe and delight when I said it back to him. It was something my heart had been dying to say for about a good month. There was a bit of confusion because he never asked me to be his girlfriend but after a nervous and cute conversation, he asked me to be his “boyfriend, I mean GIRLFRIEND” haha.

Then, he pulled me aside because he wanted to show me something. I noticed that he was wearing an undershirt on the hottest day ever which was abnormal considering that he heats up easily. He removed his shirt to reveal an undershirt that said:

“Let’s Make It Official”.

Jersey Shore may have had the idea first but in no way was it as romantic as how Superman did it.

Has much changed since we have become official? Not really. We are the same committed individuals who wanted this almost four months ago, now just with a title that we have had for over a week. The one thing that a relationship did bring was new opportunities to learn more about one another because we are more involved in each other’s lives.

Superman is a simple yet very complex man all at the same time. Sometimes, he’s very direct and other times, it takes him a bit of time to get his thoughts together. It just shows that he is human and affected by different situations in different ways. When I’m nervous, I like to talk about it; when he’s nervous, he likes to think about it and guess what? IT’S OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT! If we were the same, we would be dating ourselves.

Not only do we get to learn more about how we act in different situations but also more about the core of who we are as individuals. When I met his friends, I immediately understood why they were his friends, something I have never experienced before. They exemplified the same positive energy that he does every single day.

As well, we understand our different means of affection. If it were up to me, I would love to hear him say “I love you” every second of every day because it is so new and different to us. However, Superman was smart enough to point out that there are more ways to show his love for me than just those words. Some examples that I have noted with a secret smile?

Messaging me in the middle of the night telling me how grateful he is to have me in his life.

Sending me a song that describes who I am in order to cheer me up (Check out “I won’t back down” by Tom Petty).

Never knocking any ideas down but realistically pointing out the pros and cons, even when I don’t want to hear the cons.

Staying up late when an unfortunate circumstance has happened.

Asking if he wanted to come to a funeral with me for support.

In this sense, I like to hear “I love you” but actions speak louder than words and well, take a look at these actions! As well, I want him to say it to me when he feels like it and is not forced. It is much more genuine that way.

Like I said before, a relationship is how two people relate to one another throughout life’s circumstances. I believe that what Superman and I have is an amazing start to a beautiful commitment.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

A little bit closer

Hey everyone,

So you’re exclusive, you go on a few dates, you have those long two hour conversations, perhaps a first kiss and interest is developing. Now what? The excitement of a potential relationship is at the tip of your tongue but slow down. You still need some time before making it official.

It can be really obvious that the both of you are compatible but wouldn’t you want a relationship to make sense for the BOTH of you first? Just because it only took your exes one month of dates before getting into a relationship doesn’t mean that your next suitor is going to be the same way. After all, your exes are exes for a reason and it’s not a smart idea to make them your dating guideline.

You have to take that time to invest in someone and in really getting to know someone before making them your significant other. Who wants to date a stranger? Certainly you will discover new things about them everyday but you should know many of the IMPORTANT things about them first such as something simple as their favourite colour to if they want kids to what they think their purpose in life is, etc.

I would average at about three dates before getting into my past relationships but it didn’t do me any favours. I felt like I had no idea who they were, they weren’t being open and honest and all of a sudden, they would have an identity crisis. I feel like relationships take more than just a “couple’s quiz” to measure if you know enough about one another. They take TIME.

You shouldn’t go into every date wondering when he/she will ask about a relationship. In that sense, you are in love with the idea of a relationship and not the person. You are using them as a means to an end. Sure, you want a relationship and may have not been in one for a while but it’s even better to get to know someone where they can put the “friend” in girlfriend or boyfriend.

Wouldn’t you want someone to say “I love you, (insert name)” because they love everything about you? Your dreams, flaws and successes included? Or would you rather have someone just say “I love my boyfriend/girlfriend” which could be so meaningless when it conveys solely loving the idea of a relationship.

Love should be like a flower and continuously grow rather than a racecar rushing to the finish line.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother