Stop Interfering with Your Child’s Childhood

Stop Interfering with Your Child’s Childhood

Hello everyone,

It’s been a long while since I last wrote but I will do my best to post at least once a month or as often as writer’s block will allow me.

You are probably wondering: isn’t the point of parenting to interfere with your child’s upbringing? I submit that it’s not.

I was watching Dr. Phil the other day and he said that “the purpose of parenting is to prepare children for the next stage in life”. This is true but you also have to balance that with allowing your children to enjoy THIS stage of life. I, along with many other children, had an imaginative spirit, which was also met with the often disdained reply:

“Grow up”.

If your child is under the age where they can drive, this is an unnecessary comment. It is comments like these that make adults resent their parents because they didn’t have a childhood. Life is too short not to enjoy it, especially with having a period of life without worry.

I would also argue that it’s important for a child to develop their own judgment of character. If you see that Sally is not being a good friend to your child, only interfere if the behaviour is very serious. By simply saying, “You are not playing with Sally anymore”, your child resents you for a lack of independence and they are deprived from valuable life lessons. Instead, ask your child why they are upset and what they think they could do if someone isn’t nice to them. You can also give examples from when you were younger and that way you are a role model, not ruling with an iron fist but rather with guidance.

This translates into when your child is ready to date. Heartbreak is going to happen and your child is going to get hurt. I never learned anything from anyone telling me that I should break up with my exes. I learned from evaluating those situations and knowing what to look out for. Compared to 5 years ago, I have a better judge of character and that came from experience, not instructions.

Children are meant to live, laugh and grow. Growing is only through learning. Trust the process.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

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Why do people cheat?

Why do people cheat?

Cheaters are never fun and I truly believe that once a cheater, always a cheater. I have been cheated on multiple times in the past and I have friends who have both been cheated on and were cheaters. These are the reasons from my observations over the years (I have added some ones that people have cited to the poll but they are not what has been observed).

Unresolved feelings for their ex. They still keep many (probably too many) momentos from their past relationship and talk about their ex more often than you would like to admit. Face it, you are just a rebound and the go-between during their waiting time to rekindle their fire again.

Too much distance between you and your significant other. You both don’t talk like you used to nor are as affectionate. Feel like you are barely in a relationship? They feel the same way too and are already envoking single-life privileges!

Someone attends to their needs better. This is no fault of your own but the selfishness of your partner. Not ready to have sex? Work is making you take time away from home? If your SO does not respect that, they are going to find someone who can cater to them, regardless of your needs.

Not enough time being single before getting into a relationship. They see a piece of eye candy, a NICE piece of eye candy and cannot help themselves. They want to explore because they did not have much of a chance to before they got into a relationship. Basically, they are eating their cake and having it too (or trying to!)

What do you think people’s reasons are for cheating? Answer by voting in the poll or commenting below!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

 

We have reached 302 followers!

We have reached 302 followers!

Hey everyone,

In a matter of only two days, we went from 209 followers to 302 followers!!!! THIS IS FANTASTIC! Thank you all for your support because without you, The Modern Day Fairy Godmother wouldn’t have this success.

In celebration of this milestone, I will be adding something new on twitter: #TearUpTearOutThursdays. You may have thought that I was catering only to couples and singles going on dates before but I want this website to cater to EVERYONE. I understand that many summer flings and even long-lasting relationships are ending and it’s difficult. Well, I’m giving you a forum to express that heartbreak.

What do you do?

TEAR UP. Cry about them. Express your frustration, anger, disappointment, hurt and sadness. Let it all out and then

TEAR OUT. I’m serious. Just go on and start tearing them out of your life. Throw their gifts to you in a garbage bag, burn photos, delete their number, just do what you have to do to turn that negativity into positivity.

This is going to be a start of a movement. I wish I had this during my breakups but now, I am giving to others what I wasn’t able to have for a little while: support.

I will be sharing my stories as well, despite the fact that I have long torn those people out of my life. At the end of your tweet, try to write something positive. I will post a tweet soon to give an example. I encourage my fellow followers to even reply to these people and give them that support and encouragement to move forward.

We can all make the world a better place.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Finding loopholes in monogamy

Finding loopholes in monogamy

It is indeed late tonight but I couldn’t hold in my thoughts after a friend of mine brought this video to my attention. With laptop at hand and some furious Lady Gaga songs on repeat, I am ready to address this issue.

I have nothing against polygamous nor open relationships and marriages. It’s not my style but whatever works for the individual, works. However, when one makes the devotional and faithful promises involved in a MONOGAMOUS relationship, why create something that ruins the very fabric of it? This is the aim of Ashley Madison.

The founder, Noel Biderman, argues that infidelity is inevitable in every society and that having an affair using Ashley Madison opens communication and is all about honesty. However, all he promotes is dishonesty by promoting the riddance of “Digital Lipstick”  which includes erasing any history of any contact on the website and faking receipts. This man is truly pathetic and delusional if he is claiming anything less than this truth.

Dr. Phil, you couldn’t have said this better!

Honestly, if a relationship isn’t working, FIX IT! Don’t go and literally buy yourself a new toy with which to play. If it can’t be fixed, end the relationship and then search for other options, not the other way around. There are many ways to improve a relationship in all its aspects if both parties are willing.

“Life is short. Have an affair”.

With the one you already love!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

 

Signs that they are cheating

Signs that they are cheating

Hey everyone,

So I haven’t posted a “heartbreak” post in a while and don’t worry, things are going great with the guy with whom I am speaking. I was inspired to write this post by reading an article by Patti Stanger from Millionaire Matchmaker. I love Patti because I usually take a no nonsense approach to things like she does but I had to disagree with her post on signs to tell if someone is cheating. In my opinion, they were very generic. Therefore, as a result of being cheated on multiple times, I thought that I would share my list with you:

  1. Gut instinct. Patti mentioned this in her blog and I agree with her as well. If something is not right, it probably isn’t.
  2. Contact with a past lover or former significant other. This happens way too often. An EX can easily become a NEXT. You should be their future, not a yoyo between their past and what they make of it.
  3. Being invited often to go somewhere with a “friend” and that friend never invites you. There is nothing wrong with your significant other having time with friends, both same sex and opposite sex, but when they are fully excluding you, be aware.
  4. Hanging out in inappropriate places. Do they love the strip clubs or like spending one on one time in a hot tub with a person they found attractive? These can be breeding grounds for infidelity.
  5. Lack of contact, affection or initiative. Sorry folks, they have lost interest.
  6. Lack of attention. Constantly texting when you are trying to talk to them?  Not really listening to what you have to say? This could represent a lack of interest or that they have developed interest elsewhere.
  7. They are controlling or constantly on edge. They have something to hide, that’s why and they want to limit your resources of knowledge of figuring that out.

Agree with my list? Disagree? Did I leave something out? Want to share your story?  Write a comment!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Relationship Outage

Relationship Outage

Hey everyone,

The past couple of days, my area has been hit with several power outages that have lasted for a minimum of three hours each.  Meanwhile, I was suffering from a bad cold that took its toll on me. What do these events have in common? It served as the climax for my emotional thoughts about my past relationship.

Since about a couple of weeks ago, I started to think about Doug again. I was changing my sheets and saw that the only clean ones available were the ones that he and I cuddled in, watching Game of Thrones, on our last date. Thinking that I was brave enough to not let that memory haunt me, I used them. I was wrong.

It was the beginning of a memory flood that would last eighteen days. I got caught up in the good memories and I just thought, CRAP, what happened? I knew what happened was that he didn’t know what he wanted but it is still shocking how everything went from dreamy to disastrous. 

I broke down crying last night, just wanting to desperately move on. I just wanted to be okay.

So, I reached out to my friends and it was the best decision that I could have ever made and boy, did I get an ass-whooping!

My friend Michelle claimed that I am still the strong woman that I was back in high school. She advised that I needed to let things naturally happen, which I hadn’t been doing. There were lingering doubts at the start of my relationships with Vince, Drew and Doug. Now, I know that my next relationship has to be one that I feel good about from the start. I’m a hopeless romantic but how can I let romance happen if I am actively trying to pick up guys? I need to be the supervisor of my own lovelife, not the busboy! 

However, my friend Eve said something that really spoke to me:

“You have dealt with a lot of hard situations in your life and ended up just fine”.

Truer words have never been spoken. I have dealt with my parents’ nasty divorce and my grandmother dying from lung cancer. Therefore, I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS BREAKUP! 

Just as this epiphany happened, the power came back on.

It’s not the end. It’s only the beginning.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Post-Halloween Regrets

Post-Halloween Regrets

Halloween. One of the scariest nights of the year. I had fun with many of my friends but as per usual, something went bump in the night.

As we are dancing on the dance floor, I see a cute guy dressed up as a cop. His friend came over and we were chatting. He asked me who I was dressed up as and I said Aphrodite. He asked me who I was going to put my spell on tonight and I said hopefully his friend. So he helped me out and got the cute cop dancing with me.

His name was Mickey. Mickey and I seemed to hit it off. We couldn’t stop talking to one another. Unfortunately, he had two left feet but his ballroom skills were what saved him.

He spent a good part of the night with me and seemed like a true gentleman. He asked for my number and I got his before I sent him mine.

Everything changed after that.

He started flirting with every girl that breathed. I was ignored for the rest of the night.

Also, his friend who was friends with one of my friends told me that he was just being a wingman.

We are all hypothesizing that it was part of a bet to see who could get the most numbers. People need to seriously grow up!

It’s obvious that by how mad I was that I’m not ready to return to the dating world and will be taking a conscious step back from it. The relationship that I need to work on now is the one with myself.

Got any post-Halloween regrets or need advice? You can now email me at themoderndayfairygodmother@hotmail.com

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother