We have reached 302 followers!

We have reached 302 followers!

Hey everyone,

In a matter of only two days, we went from 209 followers to 302 followers!!!! THIS IS FANTASTIC! Thank you all for your support because without you, The Modern Day Fairy Godmother wouldn’t have this success.

In celebration of this milestone, I will be adding something new on twitter: #TearUpTearOutThursdays. You may have thought that I was catering only to couples and singles going on dates before but I want this website to cater to EVERYONE. I understand that many summer flings and even long-lasting relationships are ending and it’s difficult. Well, I’m giving you a forum to express that heartbreak.

What do you do?

TEAR UP. Cry about them. Express your frustration, anger, disappointment, hurt and sadness. Let it all out and then

TEAR OUT. I’m serious. Just go on and start tearing them out of your life. Throw their gifts to you in a garbage bag, burn photos, delete their number, just do what you have to do to turn that negativity into positivity.

This is going to be a start of a movement. I wish I had this during my breakups but now, I am giving to others what I wasn’t able to have for a little while: support.

I will be sharing my stories as well, despite the fact that I have long torn those people out of my life. At the end of your tweet, try to write something positive. I will post a tweet soon to give an example. I encourage my fellow followers to even reply to these people and give them that support and encouragement to move forward.

We can all make the world a better place.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

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A hard realization

A hard realization

Hey everyone,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother has reached its 100th post! Thank you to everyone who has been there during this journey.

It has been almost 8 months since my breakup with Doug. That’s 8 months of growth that I truly needed.

From having some rough times trying to find the guy for me recently, I have taken a hard look at why it hasn’t worked out with people. Usually, one would think that their ex would be the only person for them if it wasn’t working with anyone else. However, I know that this guy wasn’t the one for me for one main reason:

Doug and I forced something that wasn’t there.

It’s strange for me to say but I have realized that it was true. He and I started out as friends but I think that we both wanted a relationship so badly that we took the qualities we admired as friends to be something that was to be admired for a relationship.

Doug and I both wanted the same things from a relationship but did we have anything truly in common? Barely. He was a more outdoorsy guy who was about eating grub while I am a city girl who knows the value of table manners. It seemed great at the beginning because he and I got swept up in being in a relationship that when the initial months settled, it was hard to accept the fact that we were two very different people wanting very different things. Our priorities were polar opposite and our ideals no longer matched.

So, when that fairytale ended, it was like waking up from a vivid dream. It seemed so real but yet, it wasn’t.

Now, I know that I need someone who has enough differences to keep it interesting but enough similarities to be able to relate to me.

It’s fun being The Modern Day Fairy Godmother but it’s annoying to be patient in order to be Cinderella.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Post Holiday Reflections

Post Holiday Reflections

Hey everyone,

I hope that your holidays went well and you are all looking forward to 2014. I had an amazing Christmas and would argue that it was even better single than it was last year.

Considering that my last Christmas was my first one where I wasn’t single, it may seem strange for me to say this. Nevertheless, I will explain why this Christmas was so much better.

I found that I got back to what I love most about Christmas: family traditions. I didn’t feel the time nor financial constraints that I felt last year and that weight off my shoulders was a relief. I was around people who are always there for me and it made me so happy to know that this love will always surround me.

Additionally, I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin and I think that it took me being single to get here. For the first time in my life, a man is a nice thing to have and not a need. There are just so many things that I want to do with my life such as travel and try new things that if a man is right for me, he needs to join me in my adventure and not stop me from it.

I hope that this story can be inspirational to singles out there. Remember you are wonderful being you and that shouldn’t change if you are single or not.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Relationship Outage

Relationship Outage

Hey everyone,

The past couple of days, my area has been hit with several power outages that have lasted for a minimum of three hours each.  Meanwhile, I was suffering from a bad cold that took its toll on me. What do these events have in common? It served as the climax for my emotional thoughts about my past relationship.

Since about a couple of weeks ago, I started to think about Doug again. I was changing my sheets and saw that the only clean ones available were the ones that he and I cuddled in, watching Game of Thrones, on our last date. Thinking that I was brave enough to not let that memory haunt me, I used them. I was wrong.

It was the beginning of a memory flood that would last eighteen days. I got caught up in the good memories and I just thought, CRAP, what happened? I knew what happened was that he didn’t know what he wanted but it is still shocking how everything went from dreamy to disastrous. 

I broke down crying last night, just wanting to desperately move on. I just wanted to be okay.

So, I reached out to my friends and it was the best decision that I could have ever made and boy, did I get an ass-whooping!

My friend Michelle claimed that I am still the strong woman that I was back in high school. She advised that I needed to let things naturally happen, which I hadn’t been doing. There were lingering doubts at the start of my relationships with Vince, Drew and Doug. Now, I know that my next relationship has to be one that I feel good about from the start. I’m a hopeless romantic but how can I let romance happen if I am actively trying to pick up guys? I need to be the supervisor of my own lovelife, not the busboy! 

However, my friend Eve said something that really spoke to me:

“You have dealt with a lot of hard situations in your life and ended up just fine”.

Truer words have never been spoken. I have dealt with my parents’ nasty divorce and my grandmother dying from lung cancer. Therefore, I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS BREAKUP! 

Just as this epiphany happened, the power came back on.

It’s not the end. It’s only the beginning.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

What happens when nothing happens?

What happens when nothing happens?

So Mickey and I went out for coffee last Friday. I have had some amazing first dates and some horrible ones too but I have never used this word before: mediocre.

He was a nice guy and we had a great conversation but something just didn’t click like it did on Halloween night. 

I remember walking to the cafe as he was waiting for me and I had barely recognized him. Instead of being as fancy as he was when I first met him, he sported some glasses, a winter coat and casual clothing. He didn’t look bad at all but the same “wow” factor didn’t appear. I guess that I have a soft spot for cop costumes.

Even though I was dressed to the nines and he paid for our drinks, it seemed like we were just two friends meeting up. No butterflies, no sparks. I felt guilty as nothing was wrong about him. In fact, the intellectual chemistry that I always looked for was present!

That night, I added him on Facebook but something strange happened: the butterflies were present when I was looking at his pictures. I am not so shallow to think that this first date was influenced by how he dressed. There was more at play.

I have not gotten to know Mickey for as long as I have other suitors with whom I have went on first dates in the past. Therefore, how can I make a judgement call as to if he is right for me?

As well, I was under a lot of stress prior to meeting him. I had every one of my room-mates tell me that how I was apparently approaching dating  was completely stupid. How are they to know what is best for me? Shouldn’t I know? 

In addition, first dates are always going to be weird and it’s just a process of getting to know someone. If I find that after the second date that there is no potential, I know that I have something that is still a great asset to my life: a friend. 

What are your thoughts? 

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

 

Stepping out of my silence

Stepping out of my silence

Hey loyal readers,

It has been over a month since I have last blogged and this past hiatus has been caused by more than just laziness:

On August 20th, 2013, Doug decided to end his relationship with me.

This was not an easy pill to swallow and I was not expecting it to happen. Moreover, I wasn’t expecting for him to not even consider the possibility of being in each other’s lives as friends but at the same time, there is no possible way to go from my longest, most serious relationship to a platonic one.

I will not be describing a play by play of my breakup as I am in a point in my life where moving on is crucial. It was a messy breakup and a lot of bad memories are associated with that particular day but I am a stronger person because of this.

The reason for the breakup: not listening to my gut feelings. The past few months I felt that he was pulling away but I kept on being told by others that I was over analyzing. It got to a point where we were bickering every other day. Doug is a person that finds it difficult to open up and is very much a people pleaser, hence he had sketchingitis. Every fight we ever had, he always blamed himself and told me that I did nothing wrong when it wasn’t true. The day of the breakup was the unleashing of all these bottled up emotions he had and because of this, I believe his love for me turned into resentment. He brought up things that I thought were resolved MONTHS ago. Overall, the relationship could be described in one song: Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus.

I am not perfect but I feel that because of this, I can offer more to this blog than being blinded by being a Cinderella. Please note that I will never give up on love. I am a hopeless romantic and know that someone is out there for me. Right now, I just need to focus on me and be single while of course, providing my insights about love along the way. I live and I learn.

If you are going through a heartbreak right now, I feel your pain. I thought I had my soulmate but in hindsight, I know now that he wasn’t. Open up to me by commenting on this article and I will be more than willing to provide comforting words. Here is what helped me:

Delete everything (numbers, pictures, etc)
Get everything that reminded you of them and put it in a box. Place it somewhere you will never look. Remember, out of sight, out of mind.
Write them a closure letter (when you’re ready) and leave it with them by asking for no reply. Your emotions of your past will remain where they belong: in the past.
Hang with friends a lot
Do hobbies you enjoy
Cry and talk every emotion out
Don’t dwell on your breakup

It took me a while to figure out and come to terms with everything that happened but I know I’m not miserable anymore. However, I’m still adjusting not to him out of my life because that I have but not being in a relationship. It does get lonely but I am so grateful for my friends and the right person will come along at the right time.

I was the victim of not following my own advice. So please, those who have trouble in their relationships: if you’re in doubt, GET OUT!

I hope that this article inspired you. I will now be blogging on a regular basis. Thanks for your continued support. Please suggest my blog to as many people as you can as we are almost at 500 views!

Love is not a destination but a journey. It takes a while to find who will lengthen the journey but the person who does will make it all worthwhile.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother