Self-Realizations

I have had many people say to me before I was in my current relationship that when you are in a relationship, you learn more about yourself. I never believed it until now and I feel like it is when you have an argument with your significant other that this type of learning takes place.

One would think that they would learn more about the other person when this happens such as what you can or cannot tolerate as well as how the other person handles certain situations. However, it is the very notion of disagreeing, feeling hurt and being upset that you realize how YOU are acting, what YOUR needs are and if this is beneficial to the both of you.

Recently, I have realized that I am emotionally impulsive. It wasn’t always this way but with being forced to bottle up many emotions as a kid, now it can be a loose cannon. I can have a hard time letting things slide or giving people the benefit of the doubt because I fear being duped like I have been in the past. What I am starting to realize is that my past is not my present nor future; otherwise, they would have been called the same thing.

Being emotionally impulsive has its perks though. I am the type of friend that would stay up all night with you despite having a very important job interview in the morning because you need me to lend a shoulder to cry on. It also means that I am very expressive and enjoy showing my delight and excitement in something.

I love Superman. In 8 days, we will have known each other for two years and it is pretty incredible. Nevertheless, I have come to the slow realization that he is not me and he is not emotionally impulsive. This can present its challenges because he is not one to be on the phone late at night unless it is a dire emergency and likes to think things through. We bump heads because when he advises me to sleep on it, I would rather him say that [insert name here] is a fucking turd and that he will be right there to share in my BIT over exaggerated anger in that moment. Actually, he is quite the opposite: Superman is rationally impulsive. He’s a quick decision maker and sometimes I need a bit of a longer time before deciding but hey, if we were the same person, I would be dating myself.

When you learn about yourself, you learn about how to work with one another’s strengths and weaknesses. He is learning to be more emotionally attentive and I am slowly learning to take a deep breath before reacting to some undesirable news (I guess I can yell if he throws all my shoes in the garbage one day, right?).

No one is perfect. Don’t pretend to be.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

A hard realization

Hey everyone,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother has reached its 100th post! Thank you to everyone who has been there during this journey.

It has been almost 8 months since my breakup with Doug. That’s 8 months of growth that I truly needed.

From having some rough times trying to find the guy for me recently, I have taken a hard look at why it hasn’t worked out with people. Usually, one would think that their ex would be the only person for them if it wasn’t working with anyone else. However, I know that this guy wasn’t the one for me for one main reason:

Doug and I forced something that wasn’t there.

It’s strange for me to say but I have realized that it was true. He and I started out as friends but I think that we both wanted a relationship so badly that we took the qualities we admired as friends to be something that was to be admired for a relationship.

Doug and I both wanted the same things from a relationship but did we have anything truly in common? Barely. He was a more outdoorsy guy who was about eating grub while I am a city girl who knows the value of table manners. It seemed great at the beginning because he and I got swept up in being in a relationship that when the initial months settled, it was hard to accept the fact that we were two very different people wanting very different things. Our priorities were polar opposite and our ideals no longer matched.

So, when that fairytale ended, it was like waking up from a vivid dream. It seemed so real but yet, it wasn’t.

Now, I know that I need someone who has enough differences to keep it interesting but enough similarities to be able to relate to me.

It’s fun being The Modern Day Fairy Godmother but it’s annoying to be patient in order to be Cinderella.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother