What to Do If You’re Single for 2016

Hello everyone,

 

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas/holiday! I have been addressing advice for couples for a while that I thought it would be a nice change to talk about single individuals and give some advice there.

Being single during the holidays can sometimes feel like a prison sentence. You just avoided the mistletoe and questions about when you will get a girlfriend/boyfriend/married. Now, 2016 approaches and you can’t help but see all the couples canoodling. Although there is nothing more you would rather do than make out with the cutie you met at the club an hour ago, it’s probably not the best idea, especially after a recent breakup. Here are some tips to make the end of 2015 and the start of 2016 the best it can be:

  1. Spend time with your family. If they are not too annoying. Sometimes, realizing that there are more important things than a significant other brightens your mood. Also, you are not paying crazy prices for amazing homemade food and a place to sleep.
  2. Have a house party with your friends. Club cover charge? Forget it! Have the fun at home. Order in a pizza, play some board games or drinking games, and dance the night away while counting down until midnight. You will find that you had more fun this way than by doing anything else.
  3. Spend time volunteering for a local charity, such as a soup kitchen. It will be good to realize that there are worse things than being single during the holidays.
  4. Do something fun other than getting sweaty with half-naked people at a club. Go bowling. Gather your friends and go to a pub. Go watch a movie. Whatever you do, delete your ex’s phone number. No one wants a 2016 to start with regrets.

Being single is never a bad thing. Don’t treat it like it is.

Have a wonderful 2016!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

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Stop Being Desperate because Valentine’s Day is coming up!

 

 

STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

And if I haven’t mentioned it already, STOP IT!

You are not going to die because you are single. The end of the world is not near because you are single. Your precious self will not vanish because you are single.

When you are this desperate not to be single, you know what you lose?

  1. Morals and Values
  2. Love for your self

Like any single girl, I’m dreading Valentine’s Day because I wasn’t single last year. However, this will be my 20th Valentine’s Day single and every one of them prior to this one have been incredible as I had the chance to spend time with family. Although I must admit, the extra PDA and early Valentine’s Day propoganda are getting a bit annoying.

I’m proud to say that I have never been desperate for Valentine’s Day. Of course, it got lonely at times but I didn’t go on a quest to have some arm candy for only one night. After all, it is Valentine’s DAY not Valentine’s week, month or year.

Unfortunately, I had to be the victim of such desperation. This past week, a guy from my high school named Zack added me on social media. I knew him from some friends in my circle and hadn’t spoken to him in a while. Most of all, I was surprised at his transformation from shy and dorky to a confident body builder, something that interested me as I have been focused on fitness.

We spoke for a bit and he was quite forward by complimenting me on my looks. I didn’t mind too much but saying that someone in their twenties hasn’t aged when it’s a youthful age to begin with, is an exaggeration. 

I kept asking him simple questions such as how he was but he wasn’t answering any of them and would often go off topic. He was getting vague to the point where I couldn’t comprehend him. He asked me if we should meet up and I asked him if we could exchange numbers.

He asked me to give him my number and he would fit me into his schedule. First of all, I’m to be a priority, not an option but he could have possibly just been cracking a joke. I replied that he should give me his and I would fit him into mine.

His response said it all:

“Are you sure mine will fit?”

Ladies and Gentleman, we have a CERTIFIED DOUCHEBAG on our hands.

Needless to say, we haven’t spoken since. I was going to try online dating as I have been meeting men like Zack at clubs and people like Pete with friends but at this rate, I’m postponing signing up until March. I don’t need to be entering Desperation Nation.

My mother made an important comment when I was younger. She said that she hated Valentine’s Day because everyday should be Valentine’s Day. It is true. If you are going to love someone, show it everyday and not the 45th day of every year. 

In the words of Ricky Martin, don’t be a “desperado underneath [their] window”. Invest that effort of trying to get someone instead in your family and friends. These people will love you unconditionally.

STOP IT! Got it?

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Post Holiday Reflections

Hey everyone,

I hope that your holidays went well and you are all looking forward to 2014. I had an amazing Christmas and would argue that it was even better single than it was last year.

Considering that my last Christmas was my first one where I wasn’t single, it may seem strange for me to say this. Nevertheless, I will explain why this Christmas was so much better.

I found that I got back to what I love most about Christmas: family traditions. I didn’t feel the time nor financial constraints that I felt last year and that weight off my shoulders was a relief. I was around people who are always there for me and it made me so happy to know that this love will always surround me.

Additionally, I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin and I think that it took me being single to get here. For the first time in my life, a man is a nice thing to have and not a need. There are just so many things that I want to do with my life such as travel and try new things that if a man is right for me, he needs to join me in my adventure and not stop me from it.

I hope that this story can be inspirational to singles out there. Remember you are wonderful being you and that shouldn’t change if you are single or not.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Perks of Being Single during the Holidays

Hello everyone,

So the holidays are usually a tough time for the recently broken-hearted (is it just me or did a lot of people break up in August?). However, we forget to see the perks of being single. Need to be reminded of them? Here’s a few:

  1. You don’t have to shave! Rock that beard or those not so smooth legs. It’s winter after all.
  2. You save money. No dates, no anniversaries and no gifts to buy! I spent way too much money last year (even bought for my ex’s dog!). A nice break in spending can do everyone some good.
  3. What’s so great about kissing under a plant anyway?
  4. You have more time to spend with people who will always have your back: your family and friends. Instead of missing that midnight kiss, hug your family or your friends. Those people will never let you down.
  5. Eat whatever you want! We should all be healthy but you can treat yourself without worrying about what you are eating in front of people. 
  6. You can wear whatever you want! I rock the hipster glasses that my ex loathed.
  7. You can do what you truly love with your loved ones since you don’t have to please anyone but yourself.
  8. You don’t have to worry about babysitting any drunk people but your crazy friends.

The holidays are coming up. Time to celebrate YOU!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

You’re heartbroken. You’re single. Now what?

You know that someone out there is waiting for you. They want to love you as much as you love them. You have no idea who they will be but your heart is stuck in the past. What do you do?

Take time for yourself. Don’t be desperate and distract yourself with people you are romantically/physically/sexually attracted to. This is not an easy road as it gets lonely but it strengthens a relationship that perhaps you have neglected for quite some time: the one you have with yourself.

I’m a classic rebounder. I avoided loneliness by being with guys that I thought were better than my ex. What did that result in? Broken hearts, men who only wanted FWB arrangements and good guys that got away. Trust me: rebounding is not worth it. It leaves you with even more emptiness than with which you started out.

When are you ready to move on? When you are not focused on filling a void in your life. If you don’t revolve your life around theirs (ex. Who they used to be or wondering what they are doing now), it is a good start.

Exes are exes for a reason. I find that every ex contacts me when I have moved on. It is a sign that my life doesn’t need them and if you’re in a similar situation, perhaps this should be an idea that you too can apply.

Moving on shouldn’t be associated with getting another significant other. It is the absence of pain, bitterness or longing associated with your former love. It is about reestablishing who you are and becoming so secure with yourself that a significant other becomes not a necessity but a bonus.

Again, this is not an easy journey but one that I believe will be worthwhile.

Tonight, broccoli soup and jazz music cured my woes. Tomorrow, I’m not sure. All I know is that hope inspires change. Have faith in the unknown: your future.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother