Trust Yourself

Hey everyone,

Sorry about the late blog post. Getting readjusted  to daily routine is not easy after you come back from vacation. My family and I went to Disney World and Santa Maria, Cuba.  It was much needed relaxation and with new inspiration, I return here.

When I went to Cuba, Superman and I had absolutely no contact with one another (no emails, texts, phone calls, instant messages, you name it!). What we decided to do was to do what Ryan Gosling did in The Notebook: write letters to each other everyday. You hear about your grandparents’ love letters and we are so caught up in technology that these letters became a true keepsake.

One thing Superman pointed out to me before my vacation was that he didn’t believe that my trust was 100% there yet and he was right.  In the past, literally the minute I gave my complete trust to someone, there was a breakup and a betrayal. Part of me wanted to shake Superman and just tell him:

“YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TERRIFIED I AM!”

Then, you slowly realize that he is not like the others and more importantly, you have changed as well. I think that the main root of many trust issues is that we don’t trust ourselves. We have gotten duped, wool placed in our eyes, rug pulled out from under us, whatever analogy you want to use and we start to believe that since it has happened to us before, it can happen again. We start to become private investigators of our significant others, overanalyzing everything they do or say and instead of finding love, we are building walls preventing ourselves from that.

You’ve changed, honey. You have gotten stronger. You were so afraid in your last relationships because you needed a relationship and now, you’re so confident, you don’t need one but want one. Do you know how amazing you are? Yes? Then, if that guy or girl doesn’t know it and hurts you or leaves, screw them! They don’t deserve you.

When you get to know someone, you learn their core values and from that, you start to learn what they DEFINITELY would or would not do. From the start, Superman always emphasized his respect for women; so I knew that if something was wrong between him and I, he would tell me right away and face-to-face.

My greatest fear was that since we didn’t contact each other everyday, we would drift apart. However, in my heart of hearts, I knew that he was writing those letters just as I was and was thinking about me. I knew that our connection was so valuable that he wasn’t flirting with other girls and we were thinking about one another. That’s one thing I noticed: if someone tells you about others flirting with them, they are an honest person and are more so slightly uncomfortable than anything else. If they really enjoyed that attention from others, do you think that they would really care to tell you? I think that they would rather bask in that attention and possibly return it as well.

Trust yourself and trust someone who is being totally genuine. Whenever Superman and I have seen one another, he looks me straight in the eyes and tells me that he notices no one else but me. He constantly tells me how fortunate he is to have me in his life and I feel the same way. Therefore, how could I not trust him?

Cuba made us appreciate one another and made us stronger. We trust one another to not take each other for granted and know that any questions can always be asked.

I have never met anyone who has embodied the Love, Communication, Appreciation and Trust principles like Superman does and am I ever glad that I met him!

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Something Different

Hey everyone,

Remember when you were heartbroken, took time for yourself and now your life is nothing but positive? There’s a reason for that!

I never used to believe it when people told me that I would find the right guy when I least expect it and when things were falling into place. Well, I do believe it now!

When you take time for yourself, you learn to appreciate yourself and know that if you do not find the right person right away, it’s nothing personal. You learn to feel good about yourself and know that you have a lot to offer. Why would anyone rather go back into the dating world with nothing less than positivity?

Needless to say, I met an amazing man. Let’s call him Superman because it is an anonymous blog and well, he is the only guy that I told about this blog before getting into a relationship, so he reads it (Hi honey! :P).

My first date with him was the best date I had ever been on. I was incredibly nervous but when we did meet, I felt that because we both knew what we wanted and found it in one another which made for a fun, comfortable and romantic date. I don’t think that it takes an expensive, lavish first date to impress anyone. It is the quality of the  date. Having fun and his romantic gestures won me over.

The best thing that you can do is to give love a chance. I was ready to give up on my search from all the flops I found online but my friends encouraged me to give love another try. That’s when I came across Superman’s photo. He was different from the guys that I was often dating but I thought he was cute so I read into his profile. He had many of the same values and mindset that I had, so I decided to message him. I thought that he may not message me back because I wasn’t having the best of luck but he messaged back right away.

Since then, we keep in contact everyday and we have both cancelled our online subscriptions. We are both exclusive and enjoying it.  He is an amazing man and I truly feel blessed to have found him.

On The Talk a few days ago, a question was raised: “Should love be effortless?”. My opinion is that love does require effort on both parts in order to maintain the commitment and dedication. However, as the result of love being present, that effort won’t feel like effort at all.

It has become evident that Superman and I both put effort into getting to know one another. My mother always made fun of me for saying that one good fight always makes a couple stronger and unfortunately, I got that fight! The good thing was that his calm, serene self balanced my emotional state and we worked things out. Even though it wasn’t in the best circumstances, the point is that establishing early lines of communication is very important, which is part of the LCAT requirements of relationships (Love, Communication, Appreciation and Trust).

Love shouldn’t be a lifejacket. It should be a surfboard in your life when you are already enjoying the ocean.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother