With the separation of Hollywood’s hottest couple, Beyonce and Jay-Z, one begins to wonder if power couples can be successful. Is there a need for only one person to wear the pants in the relationship or as Patti Stanger from Millionaire Matchmaker says, “Let the man have the penis!” ? Or should a relationship be in the form of a Fifty Shades of Grey S & M style where one must be dominant, the other submissive?
No, there really isn’t a need for a relationship to be that way.
Certainly, most rappers have affairs with back up dancers and proclaim worldwide of their escapades with women who cater to their every need. Maybe if Beyonce said “Yes, Sir” a little more often, there would be no chances of infidelity, right? Wrong.
I don’t know how many times I have been told that guys are intimidated by my independence. I have been submissive before to the point where I have lost myself. That’s when I realized:
“Act like a lady? No honey, act like a MAN!”
I don’t mean that in a way where I impose gender roles. This statement is about having a MATURE relationship. If both people within the relationship are mature, they can take care of themselves and don’t require the submission nor dominance of the other but rather the mutual respect and admiration that forms a strong bond. That’s why Superman and I work: we appreciate one another’s ambition but do not depend on it and when we treat one another to a nice surprise or a romantic gesture, it is because we value one another, not because we need to be taken care of.
We are superior, stellar and amazing because we are equal. That’s what separates the boys and girls from the men and women.
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother
So I haven’t posted a “heartbreak” post in a while and don’t worry, things are going great with the guy with whom I am speaking. I was inspired to write this post by reading an article by Patti Stanger from Millionaire Matchmaker. I love Patti because I usually take a no nonsense approach to things like she does but I had to disagree with her post on signs to tell if someone is cheating. In my opinion, they were very generic. Therefore, as a result of being cheated on multiple times, I thought that I would share my list with you:
- Gut instinct. Patti mentioned this in her blog and I agree with her as well. If something is not right, it probably isn’t.
- Contact with a past lover or former significant other. This happens way too often. An EX can easily become a NEXT. You should be their future, not a yoyo between their past and what they make of it.
- Being invited often to go somewhere with a “friend” and that friend never invites you. There is nothing wrong with your significant other having time with friends, both same sex and opposite sex, but when they are fully excluding you, be aware.
- Hanging out in inappropriate places. Do they love the strip clubs or like spending one on one time in a hot tub with a person they found attractive? These can be breeding grounds for infidelity.
- Lack of contact, affection or initiative. Sorry folks, they have lost interest.
- Lack of attention. Constantly texting when you are trying to talk to them? Not really listening to what you have to say? This could represent a lack of interest or that they have developed interest elsewhere.
- They are controlling or constantly on edge. They have something to hide, that’s why and they want to limit your resources of knowledge of figuring that out.
Agree with my list? Disagree? Did I leave something out? Want to share your story? Write a comment!
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother