Why Therapy and Vacations Don’t Work If You Don’t

Stress. It can get the best of us, especially during the horrible weather that we are having. It is easy for us to think about getting away and going on vacation. Does it really fix things permanently?

No relationship is ever perfect. When problems arise, it is easy to go to therapy or go on a vacation in order to get away from distractions, focus on the issues at hand and get a different perspective on things. There is nothing wrong with this strategy but it all depends on the couple’s approach.

Therapy sessions and vacations take us away from the real world. However, it can be a place for empty promises and short-lived bliss if two people are not willing to put in the work established to be completed during time away. You need to create guidelines for circumstances that come up. There will be bumps in the road but if there is no application from the resolutions you both create, it is a mere waste of time.

It is a matter of breaking the cycle of behaviour. Time away from obligations and stress is helpful for understanding why the cycle began in the first place. However, only two people who are willing to work at things will make anything beneficial a success.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother

Too busy to care?

I have a confession: I am a workaholic. After all, what sane person is writing a blog at midnight when they want to go for an early morning run?

I have a need to always be productive. I have a 5-year plan. I have daily to-do lists made months in advance. I am always looking for new inspiration, new projects and new opportunities. Sitting on the couch does not sit well with me (pardon the pun). Even going out makes me feel productive because I am putting effort into my family, relationship and friendships.

There is one thing that is not consistent with being a workaholic: I am not too busy to care.

I will never be the mother who is booking appointments over the phone while at her daughter’s dance recital. Fatigue from work may limit me but it does not excuse me from others. Instead of going clubbing after work, I may opt for a romantic night-in and some warm cuddles. Whenever I am with someone I care about, the phone is away. It is not even in my pocket. It is in my purse, on the ground. After all, out of sight, out of mind.

I may casually check it every couple of hours to make sure that no one is dying but other than that, I am not glued to it. There is no reason to be. How can one enjoy every moment in life if they are avoiding it through a screen? More importantly, how can you COMMUNICATE in a relationship when you are not communicating at all?

Put down the phone and have some face time that is not created by Steven Jobs. I have always hated phones at the dinner table. My family will know dinner time around the table. People should not only be the source of a wifi password. The best moments of my life (getting on High School Honour Roll, accepted to Canada’s Top University, asked to be the girlfriend of the best man in the world, conquering anxiety and much more) did not happen via a screen. It happened organically, naturally and spontaneously. That’s how every relationship should be.

True love is never superficial. Take care of it.

Sincerely,

The Modern Day Fairy Godmother