Hey everyone!
I can’t believe it’s been a year since my last post but needless to say, I have been in Research and Development, so to speak. If my advice doesn’t keep evolving, this blog would not have lasted the past 9 years.
Shoutout to all of you for making this blog surpass 5000 views! Thank you for your continued support throughout these years and I look forward to making your love life, regardless of relationship status, more straightforward.
Many years ago, my high school drama teacher taught us that everyone has baggage, some may be bigger, some may be smaller, but we all have it. What no one tells you is that when you get married, it is baggage claim time and it can be messier than Toronto Pearson Airport. This became heightened as we were planning a reception this past year, stuck together during lockdown, didn’t go on our honeymoon until our first anniversary and well, life got very real very fast. On top of that, we had a death in the family, COVID-19 and economic uncertainty.
Honestly, I would have gone through all of that tenfold if it didn’t mean we had to experience the worst of it all: family dynamics. You would think that being together for seven years would reveal it all and there would be no surprises. You would be wrong.
Everyone has an opinion of what your marriage should look like. Things you were used to being understood with your family don’t make sense to your in-laws. Comparisons to past trauma are made. Common sense just isn’t common.
Not everything is a lost cause if you are a united front and we have had 14 months to do just that. Sometimes, it takes being on the outside looking in to see how messed up your families are and what is no longer acceptable. It is difficult for Superman and I as we both came from parentification and having these hard and stern talks with a generation that consider themselves holier than thou…moving mountains doesn’t begin to cut it.
In breaking cycles, truth must be told. It is no longer tolerating being walked over, walking on eggshells or keeping up appearances. Cancer doesn’t happen overnight and neither does toxic family cultures. It takes years of unlearning and being committed to change.
However, it can’t happen with “one day”. It must happen with day one.
Sincerely,
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother
The Modern Day Fairy Godmother 